Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News
As a child my mother instilled in me a way of thinking when
it came to problem solving. More accurately, it was a point of view of
gratitude for what I had and an assuming of responsibility for something I
brought up as a problem.
As a child and into young adulthood I learned that
complaining about a problem doesn’t get you anywhere. In my household it could make matters worse.
If I said to my mother, “I don’t like what’s for dinner.” Her response would be
along the lines of, “You know who would appreciate that dinner, children who
are truly hungry. What do you suggest YOU do about it?”
My mother didn’t appreciated complaints about an
inconvenience or being presented with a problem with no solution or suggestion
on how to solve it. What she wanted from
me was for me to take some responsibility for anything I complained about, or
to not bring it up until I could or would be able to solve it.
If I didn’t like what was for dinner the correct way of
handling would be for me to say, “Mom thank you for making this liver for us.
Would it be alright if I made myself a hot dog to eat?” This communicated that
I didn’t like liver, which she knew but made anyways, but it also provided a
solution for my predicament while expressing gratitude. I wasn’t asking my mother
to solve it for me. It didn’t matter than I was 9 years old.
My mother stressed the need for me to understand the
difference between an inconvenience and an actual problem. Complaining about an inconvenience is a way
of confirming your lack of gratitude. Complaining about a true problem with no
offer to solve it, is being part of the problem. As my mother always said, “If
you are only going to be part of the problem, best to keep your mouth shut.”
Let’s take the upgrading of the parking meters in Excelsior
as an example. The existing meters only take quarters, so you have to hunt for
quarters and then return to feed the meter once your time expires. The new meters will take credit cards and
also be able to be fed via an app on your phone, so you don’t need to return to
your car or boat.
Now, the cost per hour of these meters is going up quite a
bit. The money goes into a general fund for the City of Excelsior, which is
where they get the money to maintain area parks like The Commons.
Personally I don’t often use the meters to park my car in
Excelsior. In my two-decades of living
in the area, I’ve always found free parking in downtown Excelsior, within at
least two blocks of where I need to be.
What I do use the meters for is when we boat into town. Boat
meters will be the most expensive meters. Do I want to pay several dollars more
when we dock the boat to go into town? No, I don’t, but I will gladly pay it
for the convenience the new meters provide and because the money helps to
maintain the Excelsior Commons, which I love.
Am I going to complain about having to pay 5-10 more dollars
to dock at the Excelsior docks? No, I’m not. Mainly because I am fortunate to
even have access to a boat, to live where I do and to have the free time to
boat on Lake Minnetonka. Also, I don’t
have a solution for the problem the city is trying to solve by increasing the
fees.
How ungrateful and privileged would it sound to hear someone
complain and say “I’m really upset that I have to pay a few dollars more to park
my boat so that I can enjoy fine dining and shopping in Excelsior.”?
Now, I could join a planning commission or even run for City
Council to affect change differently. I’m not going to do any of that, so I
will pay what is required and be thankful for what I have.
Sometimes paying for parking is not in our budget. What we
do then is park in any of the free spots on Water St, behind the buildings or
in the neighborhood. You know what the
busy days are in Excelsior. If you know this and know finding a close spot may
take awhile, leave earlier and allow yourself the time to find a free closer
spot.
An inconvenience is defined as something that causes trouble
or difficulty to your personal requirements or comfort. A problem is something
that needs to be dealt with or overcome.
Not finding free parking is an inconvenience not a problem.
The inconvenience is solved by planning your time accordingly, or just enjoying
the opportunity to walk. You could also join a planning commission or run for
City Council so that you can work to find a better solution to the problem the
increase in parking fees is trying to overcome.
Sadly we have no shortage of true problems in this world. Terrorist attacks are a problem. People dying
of cancer is a problem, not having a job is a problem. Waiting on a table at a
restaurant, not being able to find free parking right where you want it,
traffic because there are improvements being done to the roads, these are
inconveniences we are fortunate enough to experience. Many in the world, even
in our own state would gladly trade places with us.
It’s important to first recognize the difference between an
inconvenience and a problem. Next ask yourself if you are going to be part of the
solution or part of the problem, then act accordingly. If you aren’t going to put your shoulder to
the wheel to help solve the problem, then take my mother’s advice and keep your
mouth shut.
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