Why Facebook Is Worse Thank Your Crazy Judgmental Relatives

Facebook has taken stirring up emotions to another level entirely with their "Your Memories on Facebook" application.  They now take photos and memories you posted anytime in the last 5 years or so and throw it in your face.

To add insult to injury, like a crazy judgmental relative at Thanksgiving dinner they try to soften the blow with this post:

Who at Facebook thought this was a good idea? It's like being bombarded over turkey by your crazy, judgmental Aunt who says "Honey I care about you and I don't want to see you alone, which is why I'm not handing you the pie. Last year you were at least 10 lbs thinner."

Facebook says "We care about you and the memories you share here. We thought you'd like to look back on this post from 1 year ago." Inserts photo from a year ago before you discovered the joys of enjoying gelato while binge watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.

Thank you for pointing that out Facebook.

Facebook also enjoys pointing out our past relationship failures be it friendships or romantic ones, but with the same lovely note which says "We thought you'd like to look back on this post from 5 years ago." What they really mean is, "Have you discussed your inability to trust with your therapist yet. We would like to see you with more than just your cats."

I find myself posting today with a question in mind. Would I want to see this in 5 years? Like a jilted lover, is this something Facebook is going to throw in my face 3 years from now. It's not enough that I need to be concerned with what my friends and family thinks about me, or how they might judge me later. Now I can add Aunt Facebook to that list.

Maybe it's just me. I know we learn from history so we dare not repeat it, but like mullets and shoulder pads, past posts should stay in the past. Stop the madness Facebook.

This is What Men and Women are Really Thinking About!

When I'm not writing these witty and informative blog posts, or doing my radio show, I also do some freelance writing, which often includes a bit of research.

I was writing copy that involved men and fashion trends. This got me wondering "Why do men dress well?" In other words, what motivates them to dress well when they do.  Of course I turned to the genie lamp that is google for answers.

If you use the magic google search box, you know that as you start typing in your request google, like an annoying spouse, it tries to finish your sentence for you based on what most others have asked it. So, I start entering into the magic search box "Why do men..."

What popped up to finish my sentence based on popular searches took me by surprise!

These are the most popular searches for "Why do men...." Apparently as a society we are more concerned with why men cheat and watch porn than why they go bald. Nothing wrong with that. I just found it very curious.

Of course this immediately made me wonder what it would be if I entered "Why do women..." into the magic google search box, so I did. I get paid by the job not the hour, so I had plenty of time for this today.

Here was what the magic google box popped up when I started to enter "Why do women..."

Both sexes are highly concerned with why the other cheats, but the similarities stop there. This is science people! I'm assuming that it is women asking "Why do men..." and men asking "Why do women..."

Men if you are wondering what your woman is contemplating the next time she looks at you with curiosity, she is probably wondering if you are a cheating porn watcher who is going to lie to her, pull away and then go bald.

Why Did Robin Thicke Cheat on Paula Patton

Singer Robin Thicke has been running all over the country declaring his undying love for his estranged wife Paula Patton. Apparently it is no secret that he was less than faithful to Paula during their 20 years together.

In his own words in a recent interview Robin says, "I changed, and I got a little too selfish, a little too greedy, and a little too full of myself.  I'm a man. I messed up and I had to lie for a while, and then I stopped lying."

The man cheated on his wife, supposedly multiple times and finally came clean about it, resulting in Paula Patton leaving him after having been with him since they were teenagers.

Per reports Robin hasn't seen Paula in four months, despite dedicating an album to her and other antics to win her back. Here is my question: If you loved this woman so much, so intensely, to the point where you are baring your soul to get her back, why did you cheat on her in the first place?

Though I'm annoyed by his hypocrisy, I do appreciate how he appears to be taking responsibility for his actions and acknowledging he was at fault.  In the same interview talks about how they are no longer together because of decisions he made.

Was a few hours, 15 minutes, however long of fun with some skank worth hurting the woman you claim to be so madly in love with?  This isn't a man who says he fell out of love with his wife, or wasn't getting what he needed from his marriage.  Not that falling out of love justifies infidelity, it just makes it more understandable.

Why do men cheat?  I'll be addressing this question in my next blog post so check back.  It will be sure to ruffle some feathers, but it's a conversation that needs to be had.

My Spamtastic Dream Comes True

If you know me well you know I LOVE SPAM!  Fried Spam with eggs, a Spam sandwich or fried Spam by itself. I love it all. Growing up in Hawaii We always has an abundance of Spam.  Even today you will always find my kitchen stocked up with this tasty goodness.

My passion for Spam goes beyond just eating it.  I've spent a few years cooking it up for students at Minnetonka High School while I share with them what I like to call "The gospel of Spam."  We chat about how Spam came to be so popular in Hawaii and it's culinary influence on the culture.

The home of Spam is right here in Minnesota.  It has been a dream of mine for years to have Hormel bestow upon me the title of "Spambassador".  This dream has just come true during a recent trip to the Spam Museum in Austin Minnesota.

         Pictured with Spam Brand Manager Nikki

It was a pleasure to meet Spam Brand Manager Nikki, who was kind enough to give both my sister and I a fun Spam cooler filled with Spam swag.  

    My sister Lana and I having fun in our Hormel uniforms

The Spam Museum is filled with Spamtastic interactive fun! We spent about two hours there, plus a good amount of time in the gift shop.  

My family in Hawaii were more excited to learn that I'm now an official Spambassador than they were when I told them I had become a myTalk 107.1 Radio Host.  It's all just Spamtastic!

Suck it Mr. Sakai. Girl Has a Radio Show Now!

If you have ever met me in person or have been reading Mommalicious In Suburbia for awhile, you know that someone probably wouldn't describe me as shy or quiet.

Most may describe me as being loud, obnoxious, inappropriate, funny, self centered, lacking a filter etc.  Well, being inappropriate and having not much of a speed bump between what I think and what I say has paid off, so suck on that Mr. Sakai, my 6th grade teacher who told me being a loud mouth wouldn't get me anywhere!

I've recently started co-hosting a radio show on myTalk 107.1 called Pop Life with Twila and Natalie each Saturday 2pm-4pm. Twila and I have the conversations that you love to have with your girlfriends.

Twila Dang and Natalie Hagemo

We take water cooler talk and turn it into happy hour. You can expect to hear celebrity gossip, entertainment news and where certain men rate on our Hump-a-licious scale, where we rate them on a scale of 1-5 humps, 5 being completely Hump-a-licious!

Twila Dang and I will even tackle the questions that plague women everywhere like, "What does your choice of underwear say about you?" Okay, that probably doesn't plague any of us, but it beats rehashing the lastest Cosmo article about the Top Five Ways to Please Your Man, for the 500th time.

You will learn more about both of us than you probably want to, but you will be laughing along with us.  Twila likes to share about her odd love of Korean Pop music and I'll openly talk about everything from sex toys to how it's okay to hate your kids once in awhile.

If you are in the Minneapolis St. Paul area you can tune in on Saturdays from 2pm-4pm to myTalk 107.1.  You can also listen live online at this link: myTalk 107.1 just click on "listen now".  There is even a myTalk 107.1 app you can download onto your smartphone to listen live that way.

Twila Dang is also the self proclaimed nerdy black girl behind the blog Pop Culture Parent, which you should check out.

My Quest to Rescue North American Dwarfs

Some of you may have received a couple of odd text messages from me over the last few days.  First let me start with saying I am NOT creating a non-profit nor a 5K to benefit North American Dwarfs.  For two days I was sick at home, fighting the latest plague that my 14 year old son brought home.

For some reason I react strangely to certain cold medicines, often resulting in me coming up with strange ideas, which I'm convinced I must share with the masses.  It's one of the reasons I've always stayed away from drugs.  I shudder to think what cocaine or LSD would do to me.

The worst of my cold med induced craziness occurred on Wednesday.  While in a semi coma on the couch I decided to get caught up on a few episodes of Game of Thrones, which I think played a key part in my unhinged text messages.  Now track with me, as this will all tie in and make sense.

Though I've always had a weakness for tall men, there is one man short in stature who I think is incredibly sexy.  That man is Peter Dinklage, and he is in Game of Thrones.

Peter Dinklage

I know that sounds odd coming from the woman who only watches basketball to see the tall hotties getting all sweaty.  For whatever reason, Dinklage floats my boat and is number two on my "Hall Pass Cheat List".  My Hall Pass Cheat List is a list of men who the significant other will allow me to sleep with if the opportunity ever arises.  I'm pretty sure he only agreed to this because he is convinced my chances are slim to none.

Number one on my Hall Pass Cheat List is True Blood actor Joe Manganiello.  Quite the difference between the two.  Manganiello is 6' 5", Dinklage is 4' 5".  I can't explain it, the lust wants, what the lust wants.

Joe Manganiello

Anyways I digress, back to my crazy text about saving North American Dwarfs.  The combination of being hopped up on cold medicine while watching Game of Thrones, along with a dash of my own brand of mental illness, resulted in me becoming convinced that something needed to be done to improve the plight of North American dwarfs.  When you think about it, it all kind of makes sense.

It would appear my significant other took the brunt of my texting outburst.  Thankfully he was smart enough to have our son hide my phone at one point, which was good because I was about to post a video making a plea for support in my new endeavor to save North American Dwarfs.

So again, my apologies to anyone who was on the receiving end of my craziness.  I'd also like to make a special apology to the little people/dwarf community, who do not need me to rescue them.  I'm definitely going to have my sister talk this all over with her therapist.  You may recall that because I lack decent health insurance I often provide my sister with a list of issues to go over with her therapist.

Expectation Vs. Reality

Lately I've been contemplating the difference between expectations and reality.  Often what we visualize, expect, or even plan for, is not always what we end up with.  But, is that always such a bad thing?

I'll give you a few recent examples.  Two years ago when we got our adorable Maltese named Loki, I had visions of him running through our yard with his pure white hair flowing in the breeze, on a beautiful spring day.  Here is my expectation versus reality.

In reality on our first "spring day" this year, Loki decided to channel his inner piggy and give himself a mud bath.  It was a pain in the butt to clean him, the carpet and myself up, but my son and I did it together, and it was nice to spend that time with him.  He saw it as an adventure.

I've been seeing pictures of friends wearing their hair in a gorgeous bun with the use of a sock.  It's called the sock bun. Despite watching multiple youtube videos on how to create this look this is what my expectation versus reality looked like.

I look ridiculous, but I laughed my butt off.  I may never master the sock bun, but I know I don't take myself too seriously.

After contemplating all of this I realized something.  I realized that I may not always end up where I expect, but sometimes the reality turns out to be even better.  I end up learning patience, laughing harder and enjoying the simplicity of a less complicated endeavor.

At the end of the day I'm content in my perfectly imperfect world.  I'm thankful that things don't always turn out how we expect them to.  If they did, I think we might miss out on things we didn't even know we were missing.

Just Call me Judge Natalie

Word must really be getting out about how much of a food enthusiast I am.  Recently I was invited to be a judge at the first annual Southshore Sizzle, which is a Lake Minnetonka Iron Chef style competition benefiting the ICA Food Shelf.  Four Lake Minnetonka restaurants went head to head to compete for the Golden Cleaver Award.

Competing restaurants were:

Ike's Minnetonka
318 Cafe
Joey Nova's
Hazellewood Grille

My claim to fame as a local food enthusiast is that I was the first Excelsior resident to eat one of everything at our local European Bakery, Patisserie Margo.  At least I'm pretty sure this is why I was invited to sit at the judges table with National Meteorologist Paul Douglas, MyTalk 107.1 Talk Show Host Bradley Traynor, Around Town TV Host Carla Beaurline and President of InVision Optical Anthony Bosca.

Senior Editor from Minneapolis St. Paul Magazine Melinda Nelson, was the emcee of the evening.  The woman is just a hoot and a half!

Sizzle Judges with Emcee Melinda Nelson

Because I was going to be eating a decent amount of food, and drinking as much free wine as I could get my hands on, I wore my tried and true compression garment known as Spanx under a dress that was forgiving in the waist area. Nothing helps you remember to keeps your Abs in, and encourages good posture like full body Spanx.

I digress, this is supposed to be about the Southshore Sizzle, not how I hold in my muffin top.  The participating chefs were able to choose ingredients from a table and were given the "secret" ingredient, which was Filet Mignon, along with an Italian sausage.

 I have to be honest. I lobbied for the secret ingredient to be one of my all time favorite meats, Spam.  Being from Hawaii I've had a lifelong love affair with this succulent canned meat. Needless to say my idea was shot down, which I thought was surprising being that Spam is produced here in Minnesota.

As judges we were given a dish that each Chef put together.  We judged each based on Taste, Presentation, and Originality.  Though all were delicious, one stood out.  The winner was Joey Nova's, who happened to be the underdog.  Here are the judges, emcee and the team from Joey Nova's.

I had such a great time taking part in this event. I've now judged a cooking competition and pageants, so my judging resume has really expanded.  Though, I think I prefer these cooking competitions over judging Pageants because the food is better.  

It was a bonus that my bio was read correctly at this event. During one of the pageants I judged, as I turned facing and waving to the crowd, the emcee announced that I was a "Popular Lake Minnetonka Communist!"  The sheet said "Columnist".  I just shrugged my shoulders and took my seat. I figured I'd been called worse.

My Email Exchange With Mitt Romney

With my vision still blury from a not so great night's sleep, I powered up my iPhone and checked my email as I do each morning.

There before me today was an email from Mitt Romney.  Now, I don't recall giving Mitt my email address.  I'm pretty sure the stud muffin had something to do with Mitt getting my email address.  My Republican husband fears for my vote in the way my Baptist Grandma fears for my eternal soul.

I'm not a political person.  While the Republican National Convention has been on TV, I've been catching up on episodes of The Real Housewives of New York and also New Jersey.

My significant other went so far as to offer me a back rub if I watched the RNC with him.  I let him know that I really needed to finish my Real Housewives show as the Countess very possibly just cheated on her French boyfriend with a Johnny Depp look alike.

Though I appreciate Mitt reaching out via email letting me know he was going to be taking the podium last night at the RNC, I'm not so thrilled that he tried to hit me up for $20.12.  I'm not giving him $20.12, but I did make him an offer he may not be able to refuse.

Here is my email back to him:

Mitt,

I missed your speech as I was catching up on episodes of the Real Housewives of New York.  I'm leaning towards voting for you, in large part because I fear my significant other may leave me if I vote for Obama.  Though, I'm not going to send you $20.12.  

What I will do is offer you a spot on my blog Mommalicious In Suburbia, in my sponsored ad space. For only $45.00 a month you can have a 125x125 ad.  Have your people email me and we can get that set up.  

Natalie Hagemo

Mommalicious In Suburbia

www.mommaliciousinsuburbia.com

I'll let you know what I hear back.  To be fair I'm offering the same deal to Obama's people.

Tips For Being a Real Housewives Wanna Be & The Excelsior Girl's Night Out Tangerine Dream Fashion Show

My favorite fashion show each year is the one put on by the retailers and volunteers who bring us Excelsior Girl's Night Out.  This year's show was called Tangerine Dream.  A tip of the hat and much applause to the crew who pulled off this year's show!

I'm a huge fan of The Real Housewives franchise on Bravo.  I once had the pleasure of meeting Gretchen Christine Rossi from The Real Housewives of Orange County along with her boyfriend Slade.  Here we are at The Ultimate Pajama Party in 2011.

Tina, Gretchen, Lana, Slade and I

To pay homage to the lovely ladies on the show, I spent the day doing my best to create a "Real Housewives Wanna Be" experience.  I'm way more wannabe than Real Housewife as I probably couldn't affort to rent a bathroom in their palatial homes.

Here are some of the highlights of the day and my How to Be a Real Housewife Wanna Be Tips:

Tip #1: Get an intern. Everyone knows that a Real Housewives Wanna Be can't possibly prepare for a fashion show without help.  For this reason my friend Cami and I depended greatly on my intern Kelsey, who also happens to be my daughter.  I've since learned that true interns are NOT paid.  Kelsey we want our $80.00 back!

Notice how Intern Kelsey is careful not to look the Real Housewife Wanna Be directly in the eye or speak directly to her as she refills her champagne.

My Real Housewife Wanna Be Partner Cami with Intern Kelsey and Loki

Tip #2: Have your own hair and make-up people. It's common knowledge that a Real Housewife Wanna Be would not be caught dead doing her own hair or make-up for a fashion show. We had to have our own hair stylist and make-up artist, Ciara Pierson.  She was smart to put a giant bib on me to catch my champagne spills and cookie crumbs.  Obviously Ciara has worked with me before.  She did an amazing job, considering we had to pay her in piggy bank coins.

Miracle of miracles, Ciara worked her magic on us two hot messes, turning each of us into a true Real Housewife Wanna Be. Here we are with my sister Lana after Intern Kelsey dropped us off at the Tangerine Dream Fashion Show VIP party at Jake O'Connor's Public House aka: the happy hour place you will find me at most afternoons.

Tip #3: It's all about the VIP party and the photo op. At the VIP party I made sure that Intern Kelsey took a pic of me with my favorite Mayor, Excelsior Mayor Nick Ruehl.

Tip #4: Make sure you have a reserved seat in the front row and that everyone knows it.  Intern Kelsey managed to take a pic of her own reserved seat but not mine.  For this reason I had to fire her and am in the process of getting another intern, one I won't pay.

Tip #5: Be sure to have your own personal bodyguard when you are making public appearances.  Bodyguard Bob is always nearby to protect me from the paparazzi or any other crazies who I'm not directly related to.

Tip #6: Enjoy the show and make note of the outfits that get your attention.

I think my Stud Muffin could pull this look off

Tip #7: Be sure to pose for the paparazzi.  Here we are onstage after the show striking our best poses for the paparazzi.  Strangely most of the paparazzi had left and only two photographers were taking our photo. One of them was Intern Kelsey.  The other was a sweaty guy who kept asking the women to hug each other.

All in all the Excelsior Girl's Night Out Tangerine Dream Fashion Show was a huge success, as was my day spent being a Real Housewives Wanna Be.

Xanadu a Must Do at the Chanhassen Dinner Theatre

The Chanhassen Dinner Theatre will have people everywhere digging out our roller skates from our garages after experiancing their latest show Xanadu.

When I first heard about the show I had PTSD flashbacks to the horrible movie starting Olivia Newton-John from 1980.  This show at the Chanhassen Dinner Theatre has healed me.

With local legends Don Shelby and Ruth Koscielak after a great show

Before the show started I honestly thought I might be leaving during intermission as my expectations were not way up there due to the movie.  I found myself not wanting the show to end!

Poking fun at the original movie, the cast takes you on an inspiring trip filled with laughter and song.  I laughed all of my eye make-up off so I suggest going sans make-up.

The dinner theater will be holding disco nights on Thursday evenings throughout the summer on June 14th, July 12th, July 26th and August 9th and 23rd after the show. Audiences can join the after party for free along with memebers of the community even if you didn't attend the show.

Xanadu will only run from now till September.  This is definately what I would call a must do for summer!

The Ultimate Pajama Party

Tina, Gretchen, Lana, Slade and Natalie at the VIP Party

To say that I'm a fan of The Real Housewives franchise on Bravo would be an understatement.  I've seen every episode of each Housewives city from Orange County to New York since the first cat fight aired a few years ago.

Recently two of my favorite guilty pleasures melted together in an evening of worthy of its own reality TV show.  The best thing about January is that The Ultimate Pajama Party happens.  This year Gretchen Rossi from the Real Housewives of Orange County attended along with her stud muffin boyfriend Slade who is also on the show.

Lana, Slade, and Natalie

My friend Tina, my sister Lana and I had a blast at the VIP pre-party held at Crave at West End.  I enjoyed chatting with Gretchen about her handbag line the Gretchen Christine collection.  Lana cornered Slade and got the dirt on what his ex-girlfriend Jo from The Real Housewives of Orange County is now up to.

Mistress Ginger is in the pink wig and has been "Curing hot messes since 2011"

After the VIP party we hit The Ultimate Pajama party and enjoyed, shopping, massage, dancing and the "Tell your problems to a gay guy booth" with Mistress Ginger, all in our PJs.  Much to my delight there was a psychic den and I was able to spend some time with Pet Psychic Janet Roper to get some insight on why my puppy Loki is not yet potty trained.

Bill Tamlyn and Jake Bowers from One Man Minneapolis

Guys from One Man Minneapolis were volunteering at the party and helping to raise money for Dress for Success, the charity the party benefited.  Both were auctioned off during a live auction hosted by Mrs. Minnesota United States Wendi Russo and Gretchen Rossi.  Both ladies did a great job raising money for Dress for Success.

With Tammy Hauser, the Goddess behind The Ultimate Pajama Party

This year Ultimate Pajama Party creator Tammy Hauser out did herself.  Each year the party gets better and better and is something I look forward to each year!

Tina, Natalie and Lana at the PJ party

The Ultimate Pajama Party

Natalie Hagemo and Sarah Clifford backstage at Twin Cities Live

Last January I spent an evening in my PJs shopping, dancing, drinking cocktails and consulting with a pet psychic.  I'll admit this wasn't my typical Saturday night. My girlfriends and I attended our first Ultimate Pajama Party.

This year there is another Ultimate Pajama Party on January 22nd and you can bet I already have my tickets.  Where else can you wear your PJs while getting a massage, shop for clothes, tell your problems to a gay man (Yes there is a booth for that) and toast signature cocktails with your besties?

For me this upcoming Ultimate Pajama Party is even more exciting because Gretchen Rossi from The Real Housewives of Orange County will be there!  I'm a huge fan of the Real Housewives franchise and look forward to meeting Gretchen.  Even though her boyfriend/Manager Slade will be there.  I haven't been a fan of his, but maybe he will change my mind.

Recently I was asked to model PJs on Twin Cities Live for a segment about the Ultimate Pajama Party.  You can see that segment here "Ultimate Pajama Party on Twin Cities Live"
It was a total blast and I got some great ideas for what kind of PJs I may want to wear this year.

Backstage at Twin Cities Live

This year I have even more friends going and I know it will be a blast.  You can get your tickets by visiting The Ultimate Pajama Party.