How do You Feel About Aging?

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

I’ve heard certain individuals say they embrace it and that they aren’t fighting it one bit. I’m not that individual. Truly, I wish I was someone who embraced wrinkles, and gray hair, but I’m not.

Now, there might be a point where I do embrace it. I love how my 86 year old Grandmother looks. She has beautiful white hair, an amazing smile and is always surrounded by young men at a party. Her name is BettyWebster and she lives on the Big Island of Hawaii. She recently became a Guinness Book of World Records holder for having the largest collection of novelty sunglasses in the world. She also still competes in Hula competitions. 

Betty Webster of Waimea Hawaii

My grandmother has an incredible personality and love of fun. She still spends New Year’s Eve in Vegas, while I’m usually asleep by 10:30pm. I’ve learned a lot from her when it comes to truly living. I’m not a late night person, but I do rock an afternoon party.

My Grandma at a party surrounded by no less than 6 young admirers 

My grandmother also takes good care of herself and has for years, making regular trips to the “beauty parlor” as she still calls it. She has her own secrets to looking and feeling fabulous. A big one is she practices self-care.  She puts the time in to taking good care of herself mentally and physically.

Self-care is a concept I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. After going through my surgery and cancer scare a few months ago, I’ve been paying more attention to what I put in and on my body.

Foods, chemicals and toxins can all affect our hormone balances and therefore our moods and lives. I’ve wanted to find a way to maintain my appearance, but in a way that won’t harm my body.

Therese Thull at Untainted in Excelsior creates a line of skincare products that are natural and non-toxic. I found her line and loved it. She introduced me to Beauty Ecology Organic Salon in Wayzata. They have the latest technology in skincare but use only organic, non-toxic products.

Recently I had my first Organic Facial at Beauty Ecology. It was amazing! Taylor Ignoffo was my aesthetician. She curated my facial to fit my needs. My biggest complaint was wrinkles and dry skin.

Ignoffo gave me what is called a Bio Lift. It stimulates cells and educates muscles using a variety of frequencies, basically tightening and lifting.  As a 46 year old woman the words “tighten and lift” are music to my ears.

I’m in the middle of a series of Bio Lifts, you can get 6-8 for the best results. It is like getting a mini facelift, but with no surgery or toxic chemicals. My skin feels tight, I’m already seeing results and I’m thrilled.

The owner of Beauty Ecology is Kassandra Kuel. She is very involved with the formulating of the products they use. I had a few conversations with her about what they do and I realized something.

I realized that the cliché saying “Age is a state of mind.” is actually true! After my first facial and bio lift I felt great and it increased my confidence.  I saw myself differently even though the change to my face was very subtle.  

Taking the time to do something for myself, which made me feel good, but was also good for me was what I needed. Aging, wrinkles, gray hair, those aren’t the culprits. Loosing confidence and a zest for life, that is the culprit when it comes to aging.

Coloring my gray away and caring for my skin are things that I do to take care of myself. Having or not having wrinkles or gray hair is not what will make me happy. Feeling confident, working towards new goals, practicing self care, those are things that affect my quality of life.

First photo is after one bio lift and organic facial second picture after the 2nd

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to stop coloring my gray or getting Bio Lift Facials.  Through an organic experience, I’ve come to realize that these things are what I do for myself. When I do things for myself, I’m a happier, whole person.

What I’ve come to realize is I’m not fighting the aging process, I’m caring for myself. I’d like what I have to last another 50 years. That takes maintenance and self-care. I’m happy I’ve found a way to do it that is good for my body and also the environment.  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll join my Grandmother for a New Year’s Eve in Vegas.

You Want to Stick What in my Ear and Set it on Fire?

Have you heard of Ear Candling? Long story short, you put a hollow ear candle in your ear, the other end is lit. Wax and debris is said to be removed form the ear through the process.

In the alternative medicine community there are many benefits given for doing it. The scientific community says it's a bunch of hogwash. Though, these same scientific minds once believed Earth was the only planet with water, which we know today is not true.

It sounded like something fun to try, plus it seemed like a great trust exercise to let my partner stick a candle in my ear, then set fire to it, then letting me do the same to him. I saw it as a modern day trust fall. After a quick trip to Lakewinds Co-Op in Chanhassen, we had our candles.

My hearing hasn't been the greatest over the last few years. I've also developed vertigo. It seems I have a harder time hearing lower tones. Unfortunately this has often meant I don't always hear my man when he is speaking to me, but not looking at me.

Now this is trust!

After a few inches of the candle burns down, you cut the top off then push out what is said to be ear wax. I say said to be, because some believe the debris that is there is not from your ear but from the candle itself.

I didn't have huge expectations, but loved the idea of possibly sucking crap out of my ear.

When I was done getting my treatment I asked my partner in candling and life what the humming noise was. He said it was the humidifier that is one everyday in our bedroom. I had NEVER heard that sound before.

It surprised me so much that I started to cry, wondering what else I wasn't hearing. We went outside and a plane going overhead was louder than I've ever heard it. I could also hear him as he spoke to me while walking away, which before I often couldn't.

Again, I can't say with 100% certainty that the guck that came out of my candle was ear wax, but I can tell you I could hear much better after, surprisingly so. I would totally do it again.

Warning: The image that follows is graphic and gross, if it is indeed crap that was in my ear. If you don't want to see it, don't scroll down. Proceed at your own risk.

Ear wax, debris or candle wax?

Imperfectly Yours,
Natalie

A Hawaiian's Guide to Surviving Winter in Minnesota

Surviving the cold when you are from the beach

The questioned I'm asked most when people learn I was born and raised in Hawaii is, "What the hell are you doing in Minnesota?" I've spent 20 years explaining to people what brought me here. Now I just simply answer "I've always had a thing for midwest men."

My friends outside of Minnesota in Hawaii, or other warmer parts of the country are always asking "How do you survive Minnesota winters being from Hawaii?" Well, I'm going to answer that once and for all with my top 7 tips in, A Hawaiian's Guide to Surviving Winter in Minnesota. This is how I've done it during the colder months and why I love living here.

1. Learn to make and love a good Hot Dish! One of my favorites is this Enchilada Casserole. I got the recipe from Lifestyle Expert Ross Sveback who happens to also be a friend of mine, which means I make endless calls to him asking how many cups in a pint or what the heck are scallions. He always answers me without judgement, but then asks me if I think his name is google.  I've also learned to make a killer tater tot hot dish and multiple crockpot dishes.

Enchilada Casserole aka: Enchilada Hot Dish

2. Regularly enjoy a dish that reminds you of a warmer place. For me it's sashimi, which I can't get enough of. My raw fish addiction regularly takes me to Yumi's Sushi Bar in Excelsior, which has the best sushi I've had in the country, including Hawaii. I'm obsessed with their Chirashi Bowl, which is a mix of sashimi on a bed of rice. I usually order a side of salmon belly and seaweed salad.

Yumi's Sushi Bar in Excelsior, Minnesota

3. Try new wines with friends, or even the dog. There is nothing more cozy than sipping a lovely glass of wine next to a roaring fire. A great way to pass the time during the winter is to do so with friends, the two-legged or even four-legged variety. I make weekly stops at Excelsior Vintage to try new wines during their weekly wine tastings Fridays and Saturdays. They are wonderful at helping you with not just food and wine pairings, but pairing wines with activities. For example I can ask Greg or Susan "Which wine goes best with a bubble bath." or "Can you recommend a wine that will go well with binge watching something on Netflix?"

4. Learn to embrace winter activities. This one took me almost two decades. I finally now enjoy snowmobiling, fires outside during the winter and even ice skating. It isn't always colder than a polar bear's balls here in Minnesota. Last winter was quite mild.

Embracing Minnesota Outdoors

5. Puzzles, puzzles and more puzzles. I discovered I have a passion for puzzles, which by the way goes well with my passion for wine. I love to sit inside on a cold day, listen to music, enjoy a glass of my favorite Sauvignon Blanc and puzzle my heart out! It's very relaxing! I find many of my puzzles at The General Store in Minnetonka.

One of my most recently completed 1000 piece puzzles.

6. When all else fails, plan a warm getaway. Recently I took a cruise around the Greek Isles with Just Girls Travel. I made memories that will keep me warm all winter long.

My breakfast view on Silversea Cruises throughout the Greek Isles

7. Embrace the beauty of a Minnesota winter day. Winter is actually quite gorgeous and scenic in Minnesota. If you are going to be dealing with the cold, it may as well be in a beautiful place. For me that is the Lake Minnetonka area. Plus there is always happy hour at Coalition Restaurant!

Lake Minnetonka on a beautiful winter day

Why My 50th Birthday in 2020 Should Matter to You!

If you like 24 hour room service, a butler at your beck and call, an endless supply of wine and vodka, fine dining, suites and exotic locations, I'm about to become your new best friend.

Throw on your best pair of spanx and your favorite lipstick because we have some celebrating to do! In September I'm turning 45. I've decide to kick off a 5 year celebration of my coming 50th birthday in the year 2020. I've been taking a month to celebrate my birthday since I turned 40. It's time to up that game!

Of course I still have work, responsibilities, blah, blah, blah, but it's time to also get serious about some of my bucket list items, especially the ones involving travel. To do so, I've partnered with Just Girls Travel and will be hosting multiple travel tours domestically and internationally. I don't think there could be a more perfect job for me unless I were hired as the personal assistant of my favorite little person, Peter Dinklage.

Most Awesome Little Person of All Time

My first trip with Just Girls Travel is to the place that is NUMBER ONE on my bucket list! If you follow me on social media you know that I'm madly in love with a Greek man. What better way to deepen our relationship than for me to leave him home and go on a luxury cruise around the Greek Isles!

I'm doing this for us baby! 

You can join me on this Adventure With Natalie! Contact Sue at Just Girls Travel. Full details about this adventure is on their website. CLICK HERE

If you don't already, be sure to follow me on twitter @NatalieNWebster and on Facebook. In addition to my usual daily shenanigans, I'll be sharing the many #AdventuresWithNatalie involving the 5 year celebration of my 50th birthday.

I'll let you know about other trips as we schedule them. In the meantime, I'd love to hear from you! What is on your bucket list?

To Smile or Not to Smile - How do you Selfie?

Ross Sveback is not just a lifestyle expert who manages to elevate the everyday, he is a lover of crotch selfie pics (with clothes of course), he is also a very good friend of mine and regular partner in my adventures in living perfectly imperfect.

Ross has been trying to convince me that "No one who is anyone smiles in selfies anymore." I have a hard time keeping a straight face in a photo without cracking up. Plus, my attempts at looking cool and mysterious come across more like looking constipated and confused.

Take a look here.

The Non Smile Selfie

Natalie rocking the constipated and confused look

How We Really Look

How are you doing your selfies? Smiling, sultry no smile? What's the verdict?

Asian Fish Pedicure: Fish Eat Your Feet?

Have you heard of those Asian Fish Pedicures you can get where tiny little fish nibble at the dead skin on your feet? Well, there is such a thing. Popular in Asia and New York, the Asian Pedicure has yet to catch on here in Minnesota. I thought I'd help kick start the trend here.

I couldn't find a place that offered this service in the Twin Cities, so I decided to try and create my own. Of course this isn't something you do alone, so I called my friend Kris and said "Hey, I'm doing something involving little fish, wine and it may make you uncomfortable, you in?" Always up for an adventure her response was "What time are you picking me up?'

After a bit of research I realized I probably couldn't find the "Asian fish" that are used, but I figured minnows would work. So off to my favorite bait shop we went for Fathead Minnows. At $3.99 a scoop this Asian Pedi was going to be a steal.

No Asian Pedi is complete without wine so we swung by my favorite wine shop Excelsior Vintage for a little wine tasting. Note that we did not leave the fish alone in the car, but responsibly brought them in with us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please enjoy this short video covering our adventures in trying an Asian Fish Pedicure with a Minnesota twist.

As it turns out Fathead Minnows will not eat the dead skin off of your feet, nor will they paint your nails. At the end of the day I did what I should have done to start, I called A La Mode at 50th and France in Edina and made an appointment for a real manicure and pedicure, fish free.

My Secret Love Affair Revealed! Shhhh....

Photo by Al Whitaker

 It’s no secret that I’ve been having a passionate and intense love affair.  Friends are aware of it, even people whom I have yet to meet but follow me on social media, have commented about it.

It’s a relationship that inspires, and has ignited a fire within me, one I thought would never burn again.  It’s a love affair that has taken on a life of its own, a life that has played out publicly and has been the topic of conversation around the Lake Minnetonka area, which is now why I think it’s time I addressed it.

If you have not been living under a rock you have probably heard or seen that I, Natalie Hagemo am madly and passionately in love with the town of Excelsior.  It’s a relationship 20 years in the making, but one which has recently been infused with new life.

If you have ever been in love you know that your senses become amplified.  Everything taste, smells and feels better.  You find yourself wanting to be a better person, wanting to take better care of yourself and the object of your affection.  It is a two way street of enticing adventure.

I’ve had a few experiences recently, which have taken my love of Excelsior to new heights.  I met Debra Antone who opened Scusi at 221 Water Street.  Scusi for me has become a place of inspiration and self-discovery.

Before you assume I’ve lost my mind, just hear me out.  Go downstairs and walk into Scusi and you will soon learn what I’m talking about. This is not your average home décor store.

First as you descend the stairs into Scusi you immediately pick up the amazing scent of their handmade, natural candles. Lavender is my absolute favorite.  As soon as I walk in and take my first inhalation I let out a relaxing sigh. 

 As the scent of lavender floats over you, you begin to hear the soft sounds of Italian Opera playing gently in the background.  As your eyes scan the room you will see an ever-changing collection of the most beautiful table settings, linen napkins and table clothes that you have ever seen set below and around crystal chandeliers, unique decorative pieces and even wine glasses from the 1800’s.

 Next there is the wishing wall.  The beautiful, original brick wall from another era was unearthed during Scusi’s renovation.  Antone now has visitors from all over who come to Scusi, write down a wish and slip in into one of the many secret holes in the wall.

On days when I need a bit of an escape from a hectic morning or to escape the less than desirable weather, I find myself escaping to Scusi.  Antone has an enthusiasm and giggle that is quite contagious.  Be sure to have her share the stories behind some of the items she has collected.  I’ve had many conversations with her at Scusi, which have recharged me in many ways.

The best thing to come from my visits with Antone at Scusi is I have learned the art of what I call “Showing myself a good time”.  We all have linens, towels, dishes etc that we reserve for guests or special occasions.  I’ve recently discovered the beauty of experiencing these things for no good reason other than I like a pretty table setting and a nice smelling candle.

During one of our unusually warmer days I took out my linen napkin and china and made myself a beautiful table setting for one on my deck, where I enjoyed my dinner.  I then took my candles from Scusi and had a lovely candle lit bubble bath followed by a walk across the street to the lake where I sipped a glass of wine and watched the sun set. 

 I’ve since been using my nicer things once reserved for company or special occasions to enjoy time by myself and for myself.  Antone and Scusi, like most of Excelsior continues to inspire me to laugh, love and truly live while discovering joy in the simple things.  If that isn’t the love of a lifetime, I don’t know what is.

Mommalicious Takes to the Sky and Sets a Record!

Several weeks ago Excelsior-Lake Minnetonka Chamber of Commerce Director Laura Hotvet, asked me if I would go up in a stunt plane with stunt pilot Michael Wiskus of Lucas Oil Air Shows.  Laura has known me for a couple of years and knew to ask me at a party when I had been drinking.  My love of red wine and committing to crazy acts of insanity seem to go hand in hand.

Michael Wiskus is the stunt pilot doing the air show during the upcoming Lake Minnetonka 4th of July festivities.  He has been flying for a couple of decades and has over 24,000 flying hours.  Winkus does full-time air shows March through November all over the country.

Keep in mind that I'm afraid of heights and I get motion sickness.  I don't go on roller coasters, I don't climb tall ladders, I'm the furthest thing from a thrill seeking daredevil as you can get.  I don't even like to drive up steep hills.  To say that going up in the air with a stunt pilot is outside the box for me, would be a huge understatement.

My producer Chris Vogt from the "Out and About" Community TV show I do for the Lake Minnetonka area, was also coming and going up in the stunt plane before me. Local photographer Susan Craig came along to document the craziness.  Susan is quite the thrill seeker.  The woman has jumped out of planes, gone deep sea fishing and more.  She should have been the one going up in the plane.  My sister Lana tagged along too.  She came mainly to see if I chickened out or threw up, true sisterly support.

Despite my fears and anxiety, my plan going into this was to remain calm, cool and collected and look cute while doing it.  What actually occurred couldn't have been further from what I had envisioned.  When you hit "play" make sure there aren't any kids around who can read lips.,

After we landed Wiskus told me that in all the years he has done this, he had never  heard such a long string of F bombs being dropped during a loop.  At least I set a record for something.  I was like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.  I stopped just short of puking up pea soup, or having my head spin around.  I had taken one dose of Dramamine, which is probably the only reason I didn't toss my cookies.  Winkus said  only about 1 in 20 people throw up.

Dont' get me wrong, there were parts of the flight that were amazingly beautiful.  Mostly the parts when we flew straight and parralel to the Earth, where I could take in the sights.  For a bit I thought "Well, this isn't too bad." Oh how wrong I was.

Lana, Stunt Pilot Michael Wiskus and me "before".
Photo by: Susan Craig Austin

   

If you look closely you can see me begging for rescue with my face against the glass.
Photo by: Susan Craig Austin

Straight on up.
Photo by Susan Craig Austin

At one point I was wondering why I couldn't hear Winkus over the headset. It wasn't till we landed and chatted that I realized I couldn't hear him because of my own screaming.  At one point I could hear "Relax, relax, I need you to relax."  After we landed he said I had grabbed the controls while we were in a loop.  What happened was I had slammed my thighs together with the control stick between them, and tensed up like a man about to get a Prostate exam.

In this video we go straight up a couple of times. At about the 45 second mark you can hear some kind of alarm going off, which didn't help to calm me down.

All in all, I'm thankful for the experience and I'm amazed that I followed through with it.  I'm in awe of the talents of Michael Wiskus and his team at West Metro Aviation and Lucas Oil Air Shows.  If you live in the Twin Cities area be sure to check out an event they are having on June 16th called "Fly In and Breakfast".  They will have airplane and helicopter rides, along with a pancake breakfast.  More details can be found at www.WestMetroAviation.com 

Don't miss the Lucas Oil Air Show at the Lake Minnetonka 4th of July celebration on of course, the 4th of July in Excelsior.  More details of what else to expect that day at "Lake Minnetonka 4th of July".

Now I'm off to Sunu Wellness Center for some much needed Chiropractic care.  With all my tensing up and screaming, I'm pretty sure I popped a rib out of place.

"Best Of 2013" Lake Minnetonka Magazine Awards Party

Lake Minnetonka Magazine just hosted their "Best Of" party where they announced the winners of their annual "Best Of Lake Minnetonka" awards. This is one of my favorite parties of the year, and not just because they provide free wine, though that is a definate bonus.

The June issue of Lake Minnetonka Magazine lists all of the 2013 winners. We were able to get our sweaty hands on copies last night.  Some of the winners were no surprise, whereas a few were shockingly surprising.

Reading about the winners of the Lake Minnetonka Mag Best Of 2013
Photo by Susan Austin

As the winners were announced it was obvious that businesses in the Excelsior area were racking up the awards.  It was no surprise that Joey Nova's won for Best Pizza.  I'd personally like to thank Joey Nova's for their great delivery service, which has kept my kids fed many a night when I couldn't be home.

The fabulous team from Joey Nova's winning Best Pizza
Photo by Susan Austin

The Excelsior Brewing Company won the Best Small Business Customer Service Award.  They really are known for fabulous service and having a friendly staff, not to mention wonderful beer with a delightful kick.

Excelsior Brewing Company
Photo by Susan Austin

I'm lobbying Lake Minnetonka Magazine and asking that they add a category called "Best Looking Staff".  The Excelsior Brewing Company would take that one hands down.  That place is staffed with good looking guys.  It's almost ridiculous.  Above you have John and Rob both total cuties, pictured with Rob's wife who is just gorgeous.  Then there is Amar and Ben pictured below.  There are even more hot guys working there than the ones I'm showing here.  They serve my beer how I like it; tall, dark and handsome.  Maybe they should do a "Men of the Excelsior Brewery" calendar? Hmmm.....

Ben and Amar delivering growlers from the Excelsior Brewing Co.
Photo by Susan Austin

Best Non Profit Charity went to a personal favorite of mine, the ICA Food Shelf.  Congratulations to Cathy Maes, her staff and all of the volunteers that make the services of the ICA possible.

ICA Food Shelf Director Cathy Maes
Photo by Susan Austin

Excelsior area businesses went home with almost half of the 30 awards given out.

A few of the awards that went to Excelsior area businesses
Photo by Susan Austin

All in all it was a fabulous night.  By the end of the night I had reunited with friends I hadn't seen for several years, and also committed to zip lining with Kerfoot Canopy Tours.  They are opening in Belle Plaine in June.  I really need to stop committing to things when the wine is flowing.  Pictured below are the guys who will be holding my life in their hands when we go zip lining in a few weeks.

Kerfoot Canopy Tours
Photo by Susan Austin

Be sure to pay attention when the voting starts next year for the Best Of Lake Minnetonka 2014.  A full list of winners can be found here: Lake Minnetonka Magazine Best Of 2013.  Yours truly is also in the June issue of Lake Minnetonka Magazine sharing my favorite places to shop: Retail Border Battle.

Here is a bonus photo for you.  My friend Annette is visiting from Texas and came along to see how we party in Lake Minnetonka. I'm not quite sure what is going on in this photo or why Susan Austin thinks I should give her a piggy back ride.  I think it's what happens when you let the photographer out from behind the camera, shenanigans ensue.  Just some good clean fun.

Susan, Annette and me keeping it classy at the Carlson Towers
Photo by: Bob Edmondson

Excelsior Farmer's Market

Well spring has finally arrived in Minnesota, or as I like to call it "That time of year when my winter jeans are too big, and my summer jeans are too small."  It's time to shed my winter insulation.  It's also time for the Excelsior Farmer's Market, which started last Thursday!

For the first time the Excelsior Farmer's Market is right down Water Street in downtown Excelsior between 2nd and 3rd street.  From 2pm-6pm each Thursday you can hit the market and find all types of goodies.

Excelsior Farmer's Market Photo by Susan Austin

Now keep in mind this is Minnesota and we had a late spring.  One retail store owner told me that at least 10 people came into her store stating that they wished there was more produce at the market.  People, they need time to grow the produce!  It isn't shipped in from California, or wherever it is vegetables come from in the winter.

Excelsior Farmer's Market Photo by Susan Austin

It was also time to tape another episode of "Out and About" for Community TV, which should be airing in the next week or so.  Cameraman Tyler and I had a great time chatting with some of the vendors.  I'm proud of the fact that though this is only my second taping, I did not swear once through the entire thing.

Tyler and I shooting Out and About. Photo by Susan Austin

Check out the Excelsior Farmer's Market where you may find something new each week.  Be sure to sample the jellies and jams.  The woman who makes those does an amazing job!

Weekly Wisdom: 5 Things I learned This Week to Avoid Being Sued for Sexual Harassment or Discrimination

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't learn something about myself or the world around me.  Each Saturday I hope to share my weekly pearls of wisdom, which I pick up during the week while out and about, in a new series called "Weekly Wisdom".

1. Older caucasian Minnesotan men instructing you on how to operate a Street Car Trolley don't find it amusing  when you point out to them how your fellow Chinese Street Car enthusiast is a pretty good driver, considering she is both female and Asian.  Lesson learned: Jokes about minorities can only be shared with other minorities, and despite the stereotype not all female Asians are bad drivers.

The First Hawaiian and Chinese Street Car Trolley Operating Team in Excelsior

2.  Mouthing the words to a song while on the elliptical at the gym can make others uncomfortable. Even if not out loud as previously requested by the health club's management. Especially if you are singing the chorus to the song "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. Who knew there were so many lip readers at the gym. Lesson learned: People who read lips go to the gym so be careful.

3. This is a "Water element meant for decoration only" and not a place to soak your feet after a workout.  Since they feel so strongly about it, I suggested they post a sign.  Despite my impulse control issues, I tend to follow posted signs and written rules.  Lesson learned: Though my Hawaiian instinct is to enter a body of water, not all bodies of water are to be entered, and mainlanders can be uptight about such things.

4. When going to a couple's house for dinner make sure the wine you hand them isn't called "Menage a Trois".  If you do make this mistake and realize it as soon as you hand the bottle over, don't spend the next five minutes rambling and nervously tripping over your words, trying to explain that you didn't realize what the wine was called and it isn't some kind of message or hint.  Not that there is anything wrong with them, because if you were a swinger, which you aren't, they would totally be invited to the key party. Needless to say they now think I'm crazy and I may not be invited back. Lesson learned: It's better to just shut up and have people suspect you are a swinger, rather than just crazy.

5. When using google images to search for a picture of a bottle of Menage a Trois wine it's very important to add the word "wine" at the end of Menage a Trois, otherwise you get some very interesting imagery that you can't unsee.  Lesson learned: Think through phrases before using google images.