Spring in Excelsior and Canine Kleptomania

Featured in the Sun Sailor April 2017

It’s that time of year when we start to see our neighbors again. Winter hibernation has ended, yard work, gardening and outdoor fun have started. Every spring it’s like a reunion and I love it.

The true sign of spring is when Tommy’s Tonka Trolley opens for the season. At that point you know there is no turning back, only forward marching into summer. It’s the return of bare legs and unfortunately, Crocs.

The kids are out on their scooters, playing football in the neighbor’s yard, and we are all fishing for crappie. We grill year-round but this time of year almost daily if we can help it. I think we single handedly keep the meat department at Kowalski’s in Excelsior in business.

Last fall we expanded our family and added a giant schnauzer named Odin. This month he’s 7 months old and growing like a horse. He’s already close to 50 pounds and only halfway grown.

Odin loves people and animals. He is very friendly but sometimes doesn’t realize how big and strong he is, which is why we watch him closely around small animals and toddlers.

To Odin everyone is a potential friend. He loves meeting other dogs and people on the trail and even cries when they walk away. He likes to cuddle and is never far from one of his humans. In fact, as I write this he is laying on my foot under my desk.

Odin is as perfect a dog for us as a dog can be, there is just one thing that concerns me. It is also something that has been a source of embarrassment. Odin appears to be a thief.

While most dogs take your slippers, gloves, or shoes and chew them up, our Odin steals these items and hordes them in parts of the house. I just found a stash with two hats, a sock and a sleep mask, which he accumulated just this morning. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful that he doesn’t destroy them. It’s just odd.

Sometimes we have him at our store J. Novachis on Water St. We share a connecting door with Amore & Fede. When the door has been left open, Odin dashes over to Amore & Fede, goes straight to their dog’s Zoie’s bed and steals her stuffed rabbit. After he steals the rabbit he runs it back to our store and tries to hide it.

We have new neighbors at home. Yesterday, Odin saw a door open at their house. He took off into the house and escaped with a pair of their socks in his mouth. There is nothing like prying your new neighbor’s socks out of your dog’s slobbery mouth and handing them back to break the ice.

The other day I came home and Odin was wearing a pair of my underwear over his head, not sure how he even managed that. I checked one of his stash sites and sure enough, he had a fork, socks and a flute in his pile.

Again, he doesn’t chew up any of these things. He just puts them in piles in hiding spots around the house or our store like some kind of kleptomaniac hoarder. When I confront him about these stolen items he looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

Overall he is an incredible dog and addition to our family. We are all perfectly imperfect. This is probably Odin’s way of flying his freak flag, or maybe he is protecting our belongings from something. I have no idea.

Just know that if you meet Odin around Excelsior and go to pet him then find your wallet is missing, know we will make sure it is returned.

How do You Feel About Aging?

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

I’ve heard certain individuals say they embrace it and that they aren’t fighting it one bit. I’m not that individual. Truly, I wish I was someone who embraced wrinkles, and gray hair, but I’m not.

Now, there might be a point where I do embrace it. I love how my 86 year old Grandmother looks. She has beautiful white hair, an amazing smile and is always surrounded by young men at a party. Her name is BettyWebster and she lives on the Big Island of Hawaii. She recently became a Guinness Book of World Records holder for having the largest collection of novelty sunglasses in the world. She also still competes in Hula competitions. 

Betty Webster of Waimea Hawaii

My grandmother has an incredible personality and love of fun. She still spends New Year’s Eve in Vegas, while I’m usually asleep by 10:30pm. I’ve learned a lot from her when it comes to truly living. I’m not a late night person, but I do rock an afternoon party.

My Grandma at a party surrounded by no less than 6 young admirers 

My grandmother also takes good care of herself and has for years, making regular trips to the “beauty parlor” as she still calls it. She has her own secrets to looking and feeling fabulous. A big one is she practices self-care.  She puts the time in to taking good care of herself mentally and physically.

Self-care is a concept I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. After going through my surgery and cancer scare a few months ago, I’ve been paying more attention to what I put in and on my body.

Foods, chemicals and toxins can all affect our hormone balances and therefore our moods and lives. I’ve wanted to find a way to maintain my appearance, but in a way that won’t harm my body.

Therese Thull at Untainted in Excelsior creates a line of skincare products that are natural and non-toxic. I found her line and loved it. She introduced me to Beauty Ecology Organic Salon in Wayzata. They have the latest technology in skincare but use only organic, non-toxic products.

Recently I had my first Organic Facial at Beauty Ecology. It was amazing! Taylor Ignoffo was my aesthetician. She curated my facial to fit my needs. My biggest complaint was wrinkles and dry skin.

Ignoffo gave me what is called a Bio Lift. It stimulates cells and educates muscles using a variety of frequencies, basically tightening and lifting.  As a 46 year old woman the words “tighten and lift” are music to my ears.

I’m in the middle of a series of Bio Lifts, you can get 6-8 for the best results. It is like getting a mini facelift, but with no surgery or toxic chemicals. My skin feels tight, I’m already seeing results and I’m thrilled.

The owner of Beauty Ecology is Kassandra Kuel. She is very involved with the formulating of the products they use. I had a few conversations with her about what they do and I realized something.

I realized that the cliché saying “Age is a state of mind.” is actually true! After my first facial and bio lift I felt great and it increased my confidence.  I saw myself differently even though the change to my face was very subtle.  

Taking the time to do something for myself, which made me feel good, but was also good for me was what I needed. Aging, wrinkles, gray hair, those aren’t the culprits. Loosing confidence and a zest for life, that is the culprit when it comes to aging.

Coloring my gray away and caring for my skin are things that I do to take care of myself. Having or not having wrinkles or gray hair is not what will make me happy. Feeling confident, working towards new goals, practicing self care, those are things that affect my quality of life.

First photo is after one bio lift and organic facial second picture after the 2nd

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to stop coloring my gray or getting Bio Lift Facials.  Through an organic experience, I’ve come to realize that these things are what I do for myself. When I do things for myself, I’m a happier, whole person.

What I’ve come to realize is I’m not fighting the aging process, I’m caring for myself. I’d like what I have to last another 50 years. That takes maintenance and self-care. I’m happy I’ve found a way to do it that is good for my body and also the environment.  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll join my Grandmother for a New Year’s Eve in Vegas.

How Do You Define What a Family Is?

Featured in the Sun Sailor

Today’s modern family looks different than it did even several years ago. We have same sex parents, straight parents, step-parents, adoptive parents, grandparents and more, who make up a family in a household.

I’m divorced with three adult children. I live with my love Tony who has two young children, who I’m very involved in raising. We have his boys 50% of the time. Tony and I are not married, nor do we have plans to get married. We are a family and have been for a little over three years.

Tony and I on a recent adventure in Mexico

It takes time, work, patience and acceptance to blend a family. It was an adjustment for the young children, for my older children and for all of the adults involved in raising them. All in all I’m proud of the job we have done and continue to do. 

With all of our kids, even who took a baseball to the mouth

Over time the boys came to me and asked if they could say I was their step-mom because at times it was easier to explain who I was to friends and teachers. They said that I was so much more than their dad’s girlfriend, even if we weren’t married. Since then they have introduced me as their “Bonus mom” or “Step-mom” or just as “Natalie.” I refer to them as my “Bonus kids” or “Step-kids”. They are fine with either. Regardless of labels we know we are a family.

When we have the boys I coordinate their schedules, and work my work schedule around them. We made the decision to design our lives so that one of us, and as often as possible both of us can be with the boys when we have them. I couldn’t be more dedicated to these kids if they were of my own blood. My grown children equally adore them as does my family.

On school forms or sports forms you have to check a box to explain your relationship to the child. There is no “Dad’s girlfriend” or “Bonus mom” box so we always put step-mom. It’s also how I introduce myself to their teachers. Trust me when I tell you school officials don’t take “Dad’s girlfriend” as seriously as they do “Step-mom.”

We had an incident recently where one of the kids was sick at school. The number to call is mine because I’m easier to reach during the day than their dad.  The school nurse on duty refused to tell me what was going on because I was “Not a real parent.” That is what she kept saying to me, “I need to speak to a real parent.” She said, “You are not a real parent.”

This is after I explained that not only was I their step-mom but I was on the emergency contact form. If you have kids in the Minnetonka District, you know there is an area online called CareDox that we fill out for emergency contact information etc.

Now, If I were not listed as an emergency contact I would not fault the school nurse on duty for not communicating with me. What I would fault her for is being incredibly rude. She actually hung up on me when I was mid-sentence explaining again that I was not just a “Real parent”, but an emergency contact.

I called her back and let her that regardless of what was going on, I did not appreciate being hung up on. I point blank told her she was rude.  I then went online to the CareDox forms, took a screen shot of the form that showed I was listed as an emergency contact and emailed it to the school.

Shortly after I received a call from a different school nurse saying they didn’t check CareDox because they were still using an old system. They allowed me to pick up my step-son who was sick.

There isn’t much that rattles me, but that incident left me bothered. First off, I was listed as an emergency contact authorized to pick up the child. The error in missing that on the school’s part is one thing, but what truly bothered me was that this woman thought it was okay to tell me I was not a “real parent.”

I wonder how she defines who and what a parent is? I have designed my life and schedule around these kids. I take care of them, live with them. I work with them on homework, sports, life lessons etc. All the things I did for and with my biological children.

The boys themselves will tell you I’m a parent as would their mom and dad.  Their mom and I coordinate everything for the boys. A blended family is a team effort, one that sometimes comes with issues as does any family. It isn’t always easy, but at the end of the day we are doing this together and I appreciate the efforts of all of the adults involved.

I’m not letting one person’s unenlightened view of what a parent or family is define our family. I’m sharing about it with the hope of shedding light on the fact that families today come in all different shapes and sizes.

Charles Dickens said it well, “Family not only need to consist of merely those whom we share blood, but also for those whom we’d give blood.”

Imperfectly Yours, 

Natalie

Why I Love the Lake Minnetonka Area

Featured in the Sun Sailor

One of the things I love about the Lake Minnetonka area is how close knit the community is. I’m amazed at how many people were born, raised here and are raising their own families here today.

When you spend time in places like Los Angeles or even New York, you meet so many people who live there who are not from there. I was born and raised in Hawaii, but here I am today living in Excelsior, Minnesota.  

I’ve been a Lake Minnetonka resident for 23 years now. My family in Hawaii is still perplexed by my decision to remain. Mainly, they have a hard time wrapping their heads around our winters.

My sisters and I back home on Oahu

Truth is, I love the seasons, all of them. There is always something to do around here. I’m incredibly excited about the ice freezing on Lake Minnetonka. I’m dying to go ice-skating on it. Last year I tried ice fishing for the first time, and I’m also looking forward to that.

The way that Minnesotans persevere in the pursuit of fun, no matter the weather, is part of what made me fall in love with this area.

Not long ago we had a crazy cold snap. The air temperature was -22. In most parts of the country, that would have shut down towns, but not here. Excelsior was hustling and bustling with people doing their holiday shopping and running errands.

Of course there are times when extreme weather slows things down, but even after 23 years I’m amazed at how people still make things happen. I believe that part of what makes this a close knit community is the extreme weather.

I’ve seen business owners blowing snow, or sweeping leaves not just in front of their own shops, but that of their neighbors. There is a true willingness to help each other out. In certain ways, our survival depends on it at times because of the extreme weather.

A few inches of snow in Seattle would shut down the city, including schools. Here in the Lake Minnetonka area, a few inches of snow is hardly worth the mention. Kids still play outside, people still go to work.

When it is brutally hot out in the summer, people check on their elderly neighbors. Multiple local groups help people who need it to rake their leaves in the fall. There is no shortage of examples of how our community comes together throughout the year.

So yes, Minnesota has extreme weather that can be challenging. But, Minnesotans and especially those I’ve come to love in the Lake Minnetonka area, are extreme in their kindness and thoughtfulness, a compliment to the push back of the elements.

Yes, it may take longer to get places in the winter. This is why we allow more time for travel. Yes, I’ve learned more about frostbite than I ever cared to, but knowledge is power.

I may no longer live on a sandy, tropical beach in Hawaii, but I often feel like I’m living in paradise, even in the winter.  It is the people in this community that make it so. It is the way I see Excelsior businesses working together to help each other and the community.

I’m incredibly excited to see what is to come in 2017 for our community and I’m very thankful to be a part of this community and to call the Lake Minnetonka area my home.

Happy New Year From Odin and I

Imperfectly Yours,

Natalie

Can the Glass be Half Full Even if it's Cancer?

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

Today more than ever we seem to be living in a world that is either viewed as a glass half empty or a glass half full.  We are also entering that time of year when we try to see the glass as half full, and be thankful that it is.

Lately my glass has been filled, emptied, dirtied, turned upside down, spun around, cleaned and placed back half full. For the most part I am for some, that annoying optimist who can and does find the silver lining in difficult situations.

I find beauty and opportunity in mistakes, I’m thankful for difficulties that force me down a different path, because I’ve been fortunate to learn that sometimes a late flight means you avoided an airline disaster. Sometimes road construction means taking a different route and discovering along the new route what becomes your favorite restaurant. The right time at the right place is often not where we think we need to be or when.

Simply, I try not to question challenges or things that appear to make my life more difficult, beyond evaluating them for what I’m supposed to learn from the situation. With my recent difficulty, I’ve been holding on to and remind myself of this.

October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I was due for a physical and hadn’t had a mammogram in five years. I’m 46 years old with a family history of breast cancer on both sides.

A few days after my routine mammogram, I was called back in for further imaging. This didn’t worry me, as it is fairly routine when you have what’s called dense breast tissue.

After further imaging I was told I needed a biopsy due to a suspicious area of microcalcifications and a mass. Calcifications in breast tissue are not uncommon as women age, but clusters of small calcifications called microcalcifications are sometimes associated with breast cancer.

The next day I had a biopsy. It was an agonizing five days before those results became available. Something happened at the Pathologist office and my slides had to be redone. Normally it takes two business days.

During those five days my mind of course went to high and low places.  What kept me sane during that time, was knowing that my worst case scenario was I had early stage breast cancer, something that is very treatable today.

My biopsy results came back not showing cancer but abnormal cell growth, often found around cancer. My next step is a lumpectomy, which is a surgery to remove a lump of breast tissue.

At this point the only way to know for sure if I have breast cancer, is to remove the mass and an area around it for further testing.  Here is the thing though, the likelihood of there being no cancer is higher than there being cancer.  The odds are in my favor. We just want to be sure.

I’ve met with my surgeon and we are in the process of scheduling the surgery for the lumpectomy. Once the mass is removed it should take two days for the pathology report to come back.

My worst case scenario is hopeful because of the men and women who came before me. My situation is hopeful because of the individuals who made research possible, the ones who made early detection possible.

I scheduled my mammogram in large part because I’m often reminded of the importance of having one by friends on Facebook. Because of local women like Judy Erdahl of Deephaven, who has openly shared her journey with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. Because of women like Holly Raby from Shorewood, who shares her experience with Breast Cancer, who has spoken at local events in Excelsior. Because of these and other women being vocal, I scheduled a mammogram.

There are many others in our community who have been publicly open with their experience. I’m so thankful for that. My situation is a hopeful one because of early detection, because these women won’t keep quiet about what they are dealing with.

The odds are in my favor that my lumpectomy will not turn up cancer, but if it does my treatment options will be very effective, because of those who came before me.  My situation will be very different because it was caught early.

Never underestimate the influence one voice can have, or the difference a passing comment can make. Use that voice wisely. Women like Erdahl and Raby are examples of that, and yes, the glass can be half-full even it it’s cancer.  They are shining examples of that.

Imperfectly Yours,

Natalie 

Are You Part of the Problem, Or the Solution?

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

As a child my mother instilled in me a way of thinking when it came to problem solving. More accurately, it was a point of view of gratitude for what I had and an assuming of responsibility for something I brought up as a problem.

As a child and into young adulthood I learned that complaining about a problem doesn’t get you anywhere.  In my household it could make matters worse. If I said to my mother, “I don’t like what’s for dinner.” Her response would be along the lines of, “You know who would appreciate that dinner, children who are truly hungry. What do you suggest YOU do about it?”

My mother didn’t appreciated complaints about an inconvenience or being presented with a problem with no solution or suggestion on how to solve it.  What she wanted from me was for me to take some responsibility for anything I complained about, or to not bring it up until I could or would be able to solve it.

If I didn’t like what was for dinner the correct way of handling would be for me to say, “Mom thank you for making this liver for us. Would it be alright if I made myself a hot dog to eat?” This communicated that I didn’t like liver, which she knew but made anyways, but it also provided a solution for my predicament while expressing gratitude. I wasn’t asking my mother to solve it for me. It didn’t matter than I was 9 years old.

My mother stressed the need for me to understand the difference between an inconvenience and an actual problem.  Complaining about an inconvenience is a way of confirming your lack of gratitude. Complaining about a true problem with no offer to solve it, is being part of the problem. As my mother always said, “If you are only going to be part of the problem, best to keep your mouth shut.”

Let’s take the upgrading of the parking meters in Excelsior as an example. The existing meters only take quarters, so you have to hunt for quarters and then return to feed the meter once your time expires.  The new meters will take credit cards and also be able to be fed via an app on your phone, so you don’t need to return to your car or boat.

Now, the cost per hour of these meters is going up quite a bit. The money goes into a general fund for the City of Excelsior, which is where they get the money to maintain area parks like The Commons.

Personally I don’t often use the meters to park my car in Excelsior.  In my two-decades of living in the area, I’ve always found free parking in downtown Excelsior, within at least two blocks of where I need to be.

What I do use the meters for is when we boat into town. Boat meters will be the most expensive meters. Do I want to pay several dollars more when we dock the boat to go into town? No, I don’t, but I will gladly pay it for the convenience the new meters provide and because the money helps to maintain the Excelsior Commons, which I love.

Am I going to complain about having to pay 5-10 more dollars to dock at the Excelsior docks? No, I’m not. Mainly because I am fortunate to even have access to a boat, to live where I do and to have the free time to boat on Lake Minnetonka.  Also, I don’t have a solution for the problem the city is trying to solve by increasing the fees.  

How ungrateful and privileged would it sound to hear someone complain and say “I’m really upset that I have to pay a few dollars more to park my boat so that I can enjoy fine dining and shopping in Excelsior.”?

Now, I could join a planning commission or even run for City Council to affect change differently. I’m not going to do any of that, so I will pay what is required and be thankful for what I have.

Sometimes paying for parking is not in our budget. What we do then is park in any of the free spots on Water St, behind the buildings or in the neighborhood.  You know what the busy days are in Excelsior. If you know this and know finding a close spot may take awhile, leave earlier and allow yourself the time to find a free closer spot.

An inconvenience is defined as something that causes trouble or difficulty to your personal requirements or comfort. A problem is something that needs to be dealt with or overcome.

Not finding free parking is an inconvenience not a problem. The inconvenience is solved by planning your time accordingly, or just enjoying the opportunity to walk. You could also join a planning commission or run for City Council so that you can work to find a better solution to the problem the increase in parking fees is trying to overcome.

Sadly we have no shortage of true problems in this world.  Terrorist attacks are a problem. People dying of cancer is a problem, not having a job is a problem. Waiting on a table at a restaurant, not being able to find free parking right where you want it, traffic because there are improvements being done to the roads, these are inconveniences we are fortunate enough to experience. Many in the world, even in our own state would gladly trade places with us.

It’s important to first recognize the difference between an inconvenience and a problem. Next ask yourself if you are going to be part of the solution or part of the problem, then act accordingly.  If you aren’t going to put your shoulder to the wheel to help solve the problem, then take my mother’s advice and keep your mouth shut.