Tips For Being a Real Housewives Wanna Be & The Excelsior Girl's Night Out Tangerine Dream Fashion Show

My favorite fashion show each year is the one put on by the retailers and volunteers who bring us Excelsior Girl's Night Out.  This year's show was called Tangerine Dream.  A tip of the hat and much applause to the crew who pulled off this year's show!

I'm a huge fan of The Real Housewives franchise on Bravo.  I once had the pleasure of meeting Gretchen Christine Rossi from The Real Housewives of Orange County along with her boyfriend Slade.  Here we are at The Ultimate Pajama Party in 2011.

Tina, Gretchen, Lana, Slade and I

To pay homage to the lovely ladies on the show, I spent the day doing my best to create a "Real Housewives Wanna Be" experience.  I'm way more wannabe than Real Housewife as I probably couldn't affort to rent a bathroom in their palatial homes.

Here are some of the highlights of the day and my How to Be a Real Housewife Wanna Be Tips:

Tip #1: Get an intern. Everyone knows that a Real Housewives Wanna Be can't possibly prepare for a fashion show without help.  For this reason my friend Cami and I depended greatly on my intern Kelsey, who also happens to be my daughter.  I've since learned that true interns are NOT paid.  Kelsey we want our $80.00 back!

Notice how Intern Kelsey is careful not to look the Real Housewife Wanna Be directly in the eye or speak directly to her as she refills her champagne.

My Real Housewife Wanna Be Partner Cami with Intern Kelsey and Loki

Tip #2: Have your own hair and make-up people. It's common knowledge that a Real Housewife Wanna Be would not be caught dead doing her own hair or make-up for a fashion show. We had to have our own hair stylist and make-up artist, Ciara Pierson.  She was smart to put a giant bib on me to catch my champagne spills and cookie crumbs.  Obviously Ciara has worked with me before.  She did an amazing job, considering we had to pay her in piggy bank coins.

Miracle of miracles, Ciara worked her magic on us two hot messes, turning each of us into a true Real Housewife Wanna Be. Here we are with my sister Lana after Intern Kelsey dropped us off at the Tangerine Dream Fashion Show VIP party at Jake O'Connor's Public House aka: the happy hour place you will find me at most afternoons.

Tip #3: It's all about the VIP party and the photo op. At the VIP party I made sure that Intern Kelsey took a pic of me with my favorite Mayor, Excelsior Mayor Nick Ruehl.

Tip #4: Make sure you have a reserved seat in the front row and that everyone knows it.  Intern Kelsey managed to take a pic of her own reserved seat but not mine.  For this reason I had to fire her and am in the process of getting another intern, one I won't pay.

Tip #5: Be sure to have your own personal bodyguard when you are making public appearances.  Bodyguard Bob is always nearby to protect me from the paparazzi or any other crazies who I'm not directly related to.

Tip #6: Enjoy the show and make note of the outfits that get your attention.

I think my Stud Muffin could pull this look off

Tip #7: Be sure to pose for the paparazzi.  Here we are onstage after the show striking our best poses for the paparazzi.  Strangely most of the paparazzi had left and only two photographers were taking our photo. One of them was Intern Kelsey.  The other was a sweaty guy who kept asking the women to hug each other.

All in all the Excelsior Girl's Night Out Tangerine Dream Fashion Show was a huge success, as was my day spent being a Real Housewives Wanna Be.