Loki May Have a Drinking Problem

My Maltese Loki is a party animal.  I'm not quite sure where he gets it.  I'm begining to worry that he may have a problem.  First off he is getting demanding when he drinks.  Do you hear the abusive tone he is taking with me?

"Bitch hit me up.  I've only had one!"

 It becomes hard to get him focused on anything else when he is drinking.

"Get started on mixing the next one.  Don't be stingy with the olives this time"

Eventually he just passes out, often right into his glass.

Of course the next morning I can't get his hungover ass up!

Not quite sure what to do.  I wonder if there is Doggie AA?

Top 5 Things That Chap My Ass

On my facebook page I have an album dedicated to photos of people and situations that chap my ass.  I started it as a non-violent protest against insconsiderate drivers, and those who park like they have no depth perception, a known side effect of chronic masturbation.

It's expanded over time to include inconsiderate cell phone users, extreme couponers and other annoying people or situations.

Here are my Top 5 Ass Chappers:

5. People who hold up a line as they use 63 coupons and argue with the cashier about what they should accept.

4. People who take up two parking spots at my kid's school on one of the busiest parking lot days of the year.

3. Anyone who coughs and hacks like they are coughing up a lung, while at no point making an effort to cover their mouth.  I was on vacation, not trying to catch your poolside ebola.

2.  Douchebags who not only speak loudly on their cell phones at a restaurant, but take it a step further by doing so on SPEAKER!

The number 1 ass chapper to date: The messes that magically appear in my sink or around the house, that NO ONE in the house had anything to do with!

Father's Day Postponed Until Satan's Spawn is Caught

What started off as a quiet, beautiful Father's Day Sunday, turned quickly into a nightmare that rocked not just our household but our entire cul-de-sac.

After last night's fun evening out at a wedding, fueled by one too many dirty martinis with the Stud Muffin, I stumbled bleary eyed out the front door this morning to let my dogs out.

As I do each morning I scooped up a serving of dog food from our big dog Dexter's food bin, which is kept in our breezeway.  The dogs and I walked into the house, turned the corner and I poured the cup of dog food into Dexter's dish.

That was when this creature from the bowels of hell fell out of the cup and into the dog dish!

A composite of the intruder from the bowels of hell

As he jumped out of the dog dish, I jumped onto a counter while screaming for the Stud Muffin.  Of course all of the windows in our house were open, so I'm sure the entire cul-de-sac heard my blood curdling screams and thought our family was being butchered by a wild gang of suburban hating serial killers.

My significant other along with my kids had been sleeping.  If you ask me he took way to long to come to my rescue upon hearing my screams.

My senior citizen dog Dexter left the kitchen for more quieter accomodations when I started screaming.

Lucky for me my Maltese Loki jumped into action right away and became a mouse hunter, chasing the hellish creature throughout the kitchen and then downstairs

Loki my vicious, mouse hunting protector

My significant other refused to follow my orders to get his gun and shoot it.  Instead he took his sweet old time setting a couple of traps downstairs, while Loki kept it cornered.

I've announced to the household that Father's Day or not, no one eats until that mouse has taken his last breath.  There is also a reward of $20.00 being offered to anyone who comes in and catches it before it finds it's way to the trap.

Yumi's Sushi Bar in Excelsior and Why I Can't Have Fish As Pets

Chef Raul at Yumi's preparing a Catapilar Roll and a No. 9

If I had to pick one type of food to live off of it would be sushi.  Being from Hawaii, raw fish has always been a big part of my life. I can remember my great grandmother shoving pieces of fish and poi into my mouth with her chubby fingers when I was about a year old.  I can't look at a fish tank without having my mouth water, which is in part why I don't have fish as pets.

Yumi's in Excelsior, Minnesota has the best sushi I have ever had.  I've sampled sushi throughout the Twin Cities, in New York, California and a few other places.  Hands down Yumi's is my favorite.

You can boat into Excelsior Bay and walk up Water Street to Yumi's, which will be on your left if you are walking away from the water.  If driving park on Water St. or in either of the two city parking lots beind the buildings on either side of Water Street.

Their sushi rolls are of a generous size, being the largest I've seen, and they pour their wine to the top of their wine glasses, huge bonus.

Sit at the Sushi Bar and watch Chef Raul do his thing

Yumi's recently moved into a new building on Water St. in Excelsior.  It's about 3 times the size of their previous location.  They open at 4:30pm 7 days a week.  I've been there on multiple nights throughout the week and it has always been busy.  They don't take reservations, but you can call ahead and get your name on a list for seating, but you better show up when your table is ready or they will give it to the next party waiting.

What I like:

• Beautiful new building with much nicer bathrooms and more space than their old location.
• Best tasting sushi! Very fresh, especially considering this is the midwest.  Huge rolls.  My favorites are the No. 9, spicy cruncy tuna roll, catapilar roll and the tuna sashimi.
• Generous pours of wine, which fills the wine glass.

What I don't like:

• Being as busy as they are, they are going through some growing pains.  The table next to me didn't get part of their order, and neither did I on one visit.  They may need more staff if they stay as busy as they are.
• I wish they took reservations.
• They serve beer, wine and saki.  I'd like to be able to have a dirty martini with my sushi.

Don't Be a TV Biotch

If I hear one more biotch stick her nose in the air and smugly state, "I never watch television.  I don't have time for it." I'm going to slap the crap out of her.  Notice that you almost never hear men say that.

I'm a mom of three kids, two dogs, I work.  Plus I have a crazy social life.  Those glasses of wine at happy hour aren't going to drink themselves.

In this day and age watching TV has never been easier.  No one has to watch a show when it is actually on with the commericals.  There is On Demand, DVRs, TiVo, Netflix and Hulu.

One of my favorite things to do is to get in front of the TV and watch The Real Housewives, True Blood, The Walking Dead or one of my many, many TV shows that I love.  I put my feet up and sometimes surf the net at the same time.  I love TV  I truly enjoy doing nothing but being entertained.  It is a guiltless, braless, pantless experiance.

Why some women feel the need to make a federal crime out of this is beyond me.  I think it has something to do with the false idea that they need to project this image that they are some kind of Martha Stewart martyr with no time for themselves.  They have some kind of guilt attached to self indulging.  Not that there aren't super busy women out there.  Moms are the busiest people I know.  It's the condescending tone that some women use that sets off my biotch radar.

With technology the way it is today, we all have time for TV  You can even watch it while working out.

Now, there are people who choose not to watch TV at all.  Some don't even own TVs.  I fully support that.  I don't fully trust them, but I support their choice.  The difference is they are not condecending with their choice.  If they are, then they fall into the aforementioned catagory of biotch.

Watch TV, don't watch TV Just don't be a biotch about it.

It's Excelsior Girl's Night Out Time

Excelsior Girl's Night Out is by far the most popular girl's night out event in the Twin Cities.

Each Thursday starting at 5:00pm from June through August, suburban and city women collide in downtown Excelsior for food, drinks, shopping and even a little dancing.

Last Thursday was the first Girl's Night Out of the Season, which was kicked off with Princess Night.

Princess Night with DJ jmclovn and a few "helpers" who helped themselves

Excelsior Girl's Night Out is a great time but also a summer event that gives back.  This year Girl's Night Out is benefiting The Hope Chest for Breast Cancer and MOCA Minnesota Ovarian Cancer Alliance.

Be sure to "Like" the Excelsior Girl's Night Out facebook page to stay up to date on happenings.  I hope to see you out some Thursday night.  I'll be making as many of them as I can.

Xanadu a Must Do at the Chanhassen Dinner Theatre

The Chanhassen Dinner Theatre will have people everywhere digging out our roller skates from our garages after experiancing their latest show Xanadu.

When I first heard about the show I had PTSD flashbacks to the horrible movie starting Olivia Newton-John from 1980.  This show at the Chanhassen Dinner Theatre has healed me.

With local legends Don Shelby and Ruth Koscielak after a great show

Before the show started I honestly thought I might be leaving during intermission as my expectations were not way up there due to the movie.  I found myself not wanting the show to end!

Poking fun at the original movie, the cast takes you on an inspiring trip filled with laughter and song.  I laughed all of my eye make-up off so I suggest going sans make-up.

The dinner theater will be holding disco nights on Thursday evenings throughout the summer on June 14th, July 12th, July 26th and August 9th and 23rd after the show. Audiences can join the after party for free along with memebers of the community even if you didn't attend the show.

Xanadu will only run from now till September.  This is definately what I would call a must do for summer!