Do You Know What Your Kids Are Up To on Facebook?

With one in six people on facebook, it has become it's own country.  You wouldn't send your teenager off into a foreign land with no supervision, yet I see parents floating down the river of denial when it comes to their teens and facebook, or other forms of social media.

I joined facebook about five years ago when my teenage daughters first hopped on.  My reason for joining facebook at that time was to spy and infiltrate, ahem... I mean monitor and supervise what my teenage girls were doing online and offline.

Years later I find myself using social media such as facebook, as much as, if not more than my kids do.

I often ask other parents if they are on facebook or if they are friends with their kids on facebook.  I'm shocked by how often the answer I get back is a smug "I don't have time to sit on the internet and play on facebook."  Seriously?

Well, while you are on your high horse of "I don't have time for such nonesense," I'm seeing photos of your 16 year old doing keg stands at a frat party.

Tips For Using Facebook As a Parenting Tool

1. Teenagers are not always the smartest tools in the shed.  They will often incriminate themselves with photographic evidence of their less than legal or parent approved activities.  Even if you are friends with your kids on facebook, there are settings where they can block you from seeing certain posts or photos.  But, more often than not the ding dongs just post away in the moment.  Also, their friends post photos of their shinanigans and don't think to make the photo private or block you.  Play around with it and you can find all kinds of photos of your kids and their friends.

My own child, now turned adult, once posted a photo of herself in a garage with other underage kids drinking alcohol.  Color evidence of her not only breaking the law, but being where she wasn't supposed to be.  Of course I grounded her, had the photo taken down and copied the photo, which was posted by one of her not so bright friends.  The internet is forever people!

2. Copy photos that incrimate your kid's friends doing things that would get them in trouble with their parents.  Now this might sound strange but hear me out.  

I could ground my daugher till the cows came home, but nothing tuned up her attitude or behavior quicker than threating to go to the parents of her friends with photographic evidence of their shenanigens.  Save those photos!  

This doesn't mean I wouldn't intervene if I thought someone else's kid was truly heading down a wrong path.  I've gone to more than one parent with the bad news about what their child was up to.  I'd want to know.

3. Educate your kids on the fact that the internet is forever.  In the same way I can copy photos of their friends and their antics, so can anyone else.  

4. As they get older, pick your battles.  I was more successful in getting my daughters to take down inappropriate photos when I asked them to, rather than ordered them to.  Not that I didn't do plenty of ordering.  In time I realized if I asked politely they would remove the photos.  It saved me the trouble of having to blackmail their friends.

5. When your teen first gets online, put your rules in writing and have them sign it.  Clearly state the consequences for breaking the rules and follow through.  This starts them out on the right foot, with known boundaries.  

Online or in real life, we can't always be there to stop our kids from making mistakes, but we can sure as hell make it harder for them to do so.  Let them know you are watching!