Mother's Day, Sex Toys and Good Friends

I've been dreading Mother's Day most of this last week. On Mother's Day last year, I was back home in Hawaii scattering my mom's ashes into the ocean, with my sisters, my friend James, my father and a Pastor.

Scattering Mom's Ashes and Flowers

Though I've come a long way in being at peace with my mother's passing, significant dates still bite me in the ass.  Mother's Day this year was no exception.  All week long I could feel a dark cloud forming over me and I knew a meltdown was coming.

It happened the day before Mother's Day in a grocery store parking lot. The thought of buying groceries to celebrate Mother's Day was suddenly more than I could handle. I sat in my car, thankfully parked far from the entrance, and had myself a state of the art meltdown, complete with the "ugly cry". The "ugly cry" is when your sobbing resembles a cat hacking up a fur ball, while snot cakes your face.  It's not attractive.

My friend Cami texted me and I admitted I was having a meltdown in the grocery store parking lot, made worse by the fact that I was about out of tissue and really had to pee.  She offered to come get me, but I ended up driving to her house for a very therapeutic chat. After some great TLC from Cami and her dog Pluto, I was able to head home.

I spoke to my daughter before I left Cami's and warned her that I was having a rough time because I missed Grandma, but I would be okay and home soon.  Like many kids, my kids can be selfish pains in the butt, but they really come through for me when I need them.

I arrived home to a clean house, my favorite pasta, and three kinds of cake!  My kids know what to do when mom is in crisis and they went into action.  They also gave me my Mother's Day presents.  When I pulled my first present out of the bag I thought it was a sex toy, which made me think "Geez they really are going all out to handle my stress.". Turns out the "Electric Rabbit" is an electronic corkscrew for opening wine.

Now keep in mind my two older girls are 22 and 20, and inherited my open sense of humor, so it was possible that they had gotten me a sex toy for Mother's Day.

Not a sex toy

The kids hung out with me, and we devoured the pasta and cake.  We watched spooky movies and I even took a nap, which I almost never do. Grief is exhausting.

I woke up on Mother's Day feeling a bit better, but still fairly depressed.  I wanted to just spend the day under my blanket in bed.  After crying away most of the prior day, my eyes were puffier than a puffer fish.

Unfortunately no one in my house was thoughtful enough to have had hemorrhoids recently.  If they had, we would have had Preparation H in the house, which would have done wonders for the bags under my eyes.

We headed to Lago Tacos for brunch. I made it through most of the meal, but then had to leave for the car when my grief overwhelmed me again.  If I was a more attractive crier I may have just remained at the table, but we all now know I am not, so for the good of the other diners I retreated to the privacy of my car.  I'm thoughtful like that.

In the last 24 hours I've gone from a very dark place, back into the light of life, because I'm surrounded by people who care and want to help.  Sometimes I just have to let them.