Weekly Wisdom: 5 Things I learned This Week to Avoid Being Sued for Sexual Harassment or Discrimination

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't learn something about myself or the world around me.  Each Saturday I hope to share my weekly pearls of wisdom, which I pick up during the week while out and about, in a new series called "Weekly Wisdom".

1. Older caucasian Minnesotan men instructing you on how to operate a Street Car Trolley don't find it amusing  when you point out to them how your fellow Chinese Street Car enthusiast is a pretty good driver, considering she is both female and Asian.  Lesson learned: Jokes about minorities can only be shared with other minorities, and despite the stereotype not all female Asians are bad drivers.

The First Hawaiian and Chinese Street Car Trolley Operating Team in Excelsior

2.  Mouthing the words to a song while on the elliptical at the gym can make others uncomfortable. Even if not out loud as previously requested by the health club's management. Especially if you are singing the chorus to the song "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. Who knew there were so many lip readers at the gym. Lesson learned: People who read lips go to the gym so be careful.

3. This is a "Water element meant for decoration only" and not a place to soak your feet after a workout.  Since they feel so strongly about it, I suggested they post a sign.  Despite my impulse control issues, I tend to follow posted signs and written rules.  Lesson learned: Though my Hawaiian instinct is to enter a body of water, not all bodies of water are to be entered, and mainlanders can be uptight about such things.

4. When going to a couple's house for dinner make sure the wine you hand them isn't called "Menage a Trois".  If you do make this mistake and realize it as soon as you hand the bottle over, don't spend the next five minutes rambling and nervously tripping over your words, trying to explain that you didn't realize what the wine was called and it isn't some kind of message or hint.  Not that there is anything wrong with them, because if you were a swinger, which you aren't, they would totally be invited to the key party. Needless to say they now think I'm crazy and I may not be invited back. Lesson learned: It's better to just shut up and have people suspect you are a swinger, rather than just crazy.

5. When using google images to search for a picture of a bottle of Menage a Trois wine it's very important to add the word "wine" at the end of Menage a Trois, otherwise you get some very interesting imagery that you can't unsee.  Lesson learned: Think through phrases before using google images.