Tommy's Tonka Trolley - Stand-up Paddle Boarding

I'm about a 10 minute walk from Lake Minnetonka, though I'm not likely to walk to it.  I'm more likely to park near it.  This summer I've enjoyed trying to stand-up paddle boarding for the first time.

First time out

Tommy's Tonka Trolley is located right at the water's edge at the Port of Excelsior.  In addition to delicious ice cream and treats, Tommy's rents stand-up paddle boards and kayaks by the hour at a very reasonable rate.  It's not a bad idea to call 952-220-0101 and make a reservation, especially if you are wanting to rent multiple kayaks or stand-up paddle boards.

My niece & daughter failing at stand-up paddle board yoga.

It was NOT cold enough to need a wetsuit.  It had been in the 90's for days, but only in the 70's on this particular day making the girls think they were going to freeze.

I didn't think Loki was ready to try stand-up paddle boarding, so I took him out in one of Tommy's kayaks instead.

Loki loved being out on the lake with the wind blowing in his hair.  Here he is acting like a diva, trying to get me to paddle faster.

Doing the stand-up paddle board was easier than I thought it would be.  Though I hate working out, it was a fun way to get moving and see the lake at the same time.

The Secret to Weight-Loss and Looking Good!

As a woman in her early forties, in fact so early I'm pretty much 29, I've searched and searched for the secrets to beauty, youth and fitness. Preferably secrets that don't involve eating well or exercise.

It would seem that many "experts" claim there are no secrets, that one need only eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, and live a good life to look and feel good.

Well, that works just fine if you are a financialy stable, single woman, who also happens to be mentally well-rounded.  Usually those of us seeking beauty and weightloss tips are married, tired, trying not to strangle our offspring, and constantly questioning our own sanity.

In my quest to look good with minimum effort, I have discovered the secret weapon for all of our beauty and fitness issues!  That secret is, "IT'S ALL RELATIVE".  I'll use myself as an example to help you wrap your head around my discovery.

Personally I could stand to loose another 10 or 15 lbs.  I don't enjoy going to the gym, and I have to work hard to not overeat. I've recently discovered how to make myself look to be in better shape than I am, in the eyes of others

I simply tell them I once weighed 326 lbs.  Compared to that, I look amazing right now!  The key is to pick a number that sounds exact, not 250 or 400.  326 sounds more exact.

These days instead of complaining to friends about how I need to loose another 15 lbs, I just tell them I once weighed 326 lbs, sit back and enjoy how amazed they are with how good I look now.  They don't see my extra 15 lbs, they see the shocking after image of someone who was once 326 lbs.  No dieting or exercise involved.

Now, I know that my secret will now be out and people will know I'm full of shit, and never weighed 326 lbs, though in truth I did once weigh 218 lbs.  326 lbs creates a better before image.  In the interest of helping my fellow females, I'm willing to take one for the team and share my secret.

You can use this same beauty tip of "It's all relative" to other issues.  If you have sickly thin lips, skip the injections and tell people you once had a cleft palate.  Do you have thining hair?  Tell people you once lost all your hair during pregnancy.  Plus you can use that one on your kids.  "36 hours of labor and I lost all my hair bringing you into the world.  The least you can do is clean your room!"

So before you exaust yourself at the gym, or spend thousands on plastic surgery remember, it's all relative.

Top 3 Places For Happy Hour in Excelsior

I've been very busy this summer doing careful research in my town of Excelsior, Minnesota to determine my favorite place for happy hour.  It was a daunting task to take on, but in the spirit of community I took it on.

There are a few things I looked for when doing my research:

1. What you got for your money.
2. Is it dog friendly?
3. Easy to get a spot at, and not over crowded with douchebags asking "Can I have your numbah?"

With summer about half way over, I can now share my findings and my Top 3 Picks for happy our in Excelsior.

#3 Biella  - Biella's has a tasty happy hour menu with excellent food.  Dave the bartender makes some of the best martini's I've ever had.  Biella was a little pricer than my top two choices, but it isn't fair to judge them based on price, as Biella is truly a higher end experience in terms of restaurant decor and quality.

I do enjoy their outdoor seating, but for happy hour you have to sit at the indoor bar, making it impossible for me to bring Loki.

The main reason they are my #3 pick is because their happy hour is only Monday-Thursday and is only an hour, from 5:00pm-6:00pm.

My friend Jill and I enjoying dinner at Biella during Excelsior Girl's Night Out

#2 318 Cafe  Their happy hour is from 3:00pm-6:00pm, seven days a week!  They have a guacamole to die for, which goes nicely with their happy hour tacos.  318 Cafe offers outdoor and indoor seating, with a recently renovated patio.  I like that they are dog friendly in that you can bring your dog with you and sit outside.  My only complaint is that the wine is often served in what looks like a glass for OJ, and the amount served seems small.

Loki and I outdoor enjoying a meat plate from 318 Cafe

#1 Jake O'Connor's Public House or as we locals like to call it "Jake's".  Their happy our is DAILY from 11:00am-6:00pm with happy hour food specials from 2:00pm-6:00pm.  For $3.00 I can get a generous pour of their house red, which is delcious.  My friend Cami and I love to share their cheese plate, which isn't on the happy hour menu but on their full menu.

When I bring Loki the staff often bring out a bowl of water for him.  They are located on the corner of Water Street and 2nd St, making it very easy for me to be found and keep "office hours" while I'm there.  I'm always running into the people I need to speak to, right there on the street, while I'm enjoying their happy hour, killing two birds with one stone.  You can find me there most Mondays from 3:00pm-5:00pm and Thursdays from 4:00pm-6:00pm

My friend Cami and I at my "desk" during my Monday office hours

The waitstaff at Jake O'Connor's are lots of fun.  Pete was my favorite waiter, but then Phil came along and made me laugh so he became my favorite.  More recently Pete really uped his game on our cheese plate and he is back on top as my favorite, at least until Phil gives him a run for his money.

Pete - My current favorite

There you have it, my top 3 pics for Best Happy Hour in Excelsior.

Is Scientology Stalking My Daughter?

As I've blogged about earlier, I grew up in Scientology and left with three generations of my family 2.5 years ago. See my earlier post Scientology: My Five Reasons For Speaking Out.

This past Saturday my 21 year old daughter, Shelby, went to visit the Church of Scientology in St. Paul, as she was curious to see their new building.  What followed was a great example of how many Scientologist are decent people, but a few are completely looney and even dangerous.

Scientology in St. Paul's Grand Opening

She went with a friend who also wanted to tour their building and see what Scientology was all about from the perspective of the Church itself.  The Scientology Church in St. Paul had been promoting on the radio that people could come in for free tours.

As the girls approached the building Kristin, a Scientology staff member who knew Shelby, was walking out of the building.  When she saw Shelby she turned around and ran back into the building like a Branch Davidian who spotted the ATF approaching.

Shelby and her friend exchanged confused glances and continued on into the building where they were greeted by Deb, the receptionist.  Deb recognized Shelby, whom she had known for years, was pleasant, friendly and said Shelby could go on a tour of the building.

A few minutes later another staff member who probably had something to do with security approached Shelby.  His name was Craig and he had also known Shelby and our family for years.  In short, Craig very respectfully and pleasantly let Shelby know that he couldn't let her tour the building because of her "status" with the Church.  He believed that she, like her mother, had been ex-communicated, or as Scientology calls it "labeled as a suppressive person".

If you are tracking with me, so far we have one staff member turning and running into the building, and two Scientology staff members who were professional, pleasant and knew how to use their words.

Shelby and her friend left the building without their tour.  Keep in mind this was Shelby's friend's first introduction to the Church of Scientology, and she wasn't really feeling the love so far.

On their way out they ran into another staff member who Shelby knew named Chris.  He knew Shelby had left the Church but still had a pleasant conversation with the girls for a few minutes.  Shelby's friend said to him, "It's sad that in a place of faith you can feel so unwelcome."  Chris responded with a smile,"Well I've been really welcoming.", to which both girls agreed.

At that moment from about 200 feet away another Scientology staff member named Karen screamed at Chris, "Chris you need to back away!" pointing her finger in a move away motion.  Chris shrugged and said "Guess I gotta go now." and awkwardly walked away as Karen came barreling down on him with her hands up in the air yelling "What are you doing!"

All of this played out on the street in front of the Church in St. Paul with other people walking by.  For a group that claims to have the solution to your relationship and communication problems, Karen sure was freaked out about Chris speaking to Shelby and her friend. Overreaction would be an understatement.

To recap: Kristen turns and runs like a Branch Davidian seeing the ATF approach, Deb and Craig were pleasant, decent, caring human beings who could communicate, poor Chris did his best to make the girls feel welcomed despite knowing Shelby had left the Church, and then we have Karen.  Karen who waved her arms around while screaming at Chris from 200 feet away, on a public street right in front of their Church.  Hmmm..... 3 out of the 5 Scientology staff members were good examples of Scientology itself, while the other two were perfect examples of what the Church of Scientology has become, a cult.

After this experience Shelby posted on Facebook, "I visited the Church of Scientology in St. Paul yesterday.  Apparently not everyone is welcome on the free tours they advertise.  When I arrived, I was promptly asked to leave."

About ten minutes after Shelby posted that on Facebook, two States away a woman, who we now realize has been stalking Shelby online, lept into action.  This woman works for another Church of Scientology in another State.  She is NOT friends with Shelby on Facebook.  For her to see Shelby's post she would have to specifically seek Shelby's page out like a creeper (as the kid's like to say) and see what she was posting.

This Scientology staff member two States away got on the phone to a friend of Shelby's who was also once in Scientology, to tell her what Shelby had posted with the obvious hopes that this friend would agree that Shelby was a bad person and not someone she should be connected to.

As is often the case with the Church of Scientology, who tends to handle rejection worse than a jilted lover, they work overtime to cut ties between people who are in the Church and those who disagree with the actions of the Church.

Shelby's friend two States away wanted none of what the woman had to say, and stood up for Shelby and their friendship.

To recap once again: Shelby goes to tour the Church of Scientology in St. Paul, speaks with three well-meaning, decent individuals who work for the Church, sees two who epitomize the reasons why the Church of Scientology is seen as a cult, and then finds out a Church of Scientology staff member in another State is stalking her on Facebook, which I'm pretty sure falls into the "Creepy cult behavior" category.

All of this is a classic example of how there are some really great people in Scientology, and some outright aggressive, stalking loonies.  If you were to use Shelby's recent experience with these six people as a yardstick, you might deduce that 50% of Scientology's staff members are well intentioned, caring individuals, and the rest are cowed cult members, or aggressive stalkers.

With those kinds of statistics it stands to reason why there has been a worldwide mass exodous out of the Church of Scientology.  The most famous departed member being of course Katie Holmes.  I can't help but wonder, if Scientology staff member Karen saw Tom Cruise on the steps of the Church speaking to Katie Holmes, would she charge at him while screaming "Tom you need to back away!"

The Minneapolis Farmer's Market, Hipsters and Cheese

Though I've lived in the Twin Cities for about 19 years, until today I've never been to the Minneapolis Farmer's Market.  The Excelsior Farmer's Market is two minutes from my house and usually where I go.

The only reason I even go to the Excelsior Farmer's Market is to buy bread and sample one of everything they have (especially the berries), until I'm full or they ask me to leave, whichever comes first.  I'm not a vegetable fan, unless it's a vegetable I can add to a cocktail, so most Farmer's Markets don't greatly appeal to me.

My friend Connie has been trying to get me to leave my bubble of the suburbs and check out the Minneapolis Farmer's Market for years.  She finally talked me into it, filling my head with visions of of aged cheeses and bread samples, my known weaknesses.  Also I thought I might meet some interesting city people. Maybe even a hipster?  Actually, I'm not sure of what a hipster is, but I think they dwell in the city and wear skinny jeans.

First off, I had no idea it was such a large market.  Secondly I didn't know they carried clothes!  Had she said that I'd have gone years ago.

As you can see from this photo is was crowded, something I'm not a fan of, which is why I live in the suburbs, but I channelled my inner New Yorker and pushed my way through, motivated in my search for hipsters, sourdough bread and a nice aged cheddar.

Connie and I enjoyed the most delicious polish sausages loaded with onions, peppers and mustard.  I would have taken a photo of it, but I wolfed it down before I thought of doing so.  I quickly learned that white capris were not the best choice of clothing when eating mustard.  The same place made a tasty lemonade lacking in only one ingredient, vodka.  Though as Connie pointed out it was only 9:00am.  She is such a stickler about things like that.

Seating was limited so we sat down at a table with what we hoped where local city folk out to load up on veges for their vegan dishes, and discuss how lame us suburbanites were.  I was ready for some deep hipster conversation while I pretended to be visiting from New York.  My name was going to be Natasha Breaderton. Well, we picked the wrong table!  Turns out we sat next to a couple also from Excelsior.  What the hell?

I did my best to ignore the Excelsior couple and instead chatted with another couple who were from Maple Grove, 20 minutes outside the Excelsior bubble, but still in the suburban bubble.  Where were the damn city folk?  It was wall to wall suburbinites. It was like going to Europe to hang out with Americans and eat at McDonalds.

Eventually I gave up on my hunt for the ellusive hipster and got busy shopping.  Thankfully I found just what I was looking for: Sourdough bread and a variety of cheeses.

Connie and I have decided that we are going to try a variety of Farmer's Markets in different cities.  I may yet meet a hipster and get to be Natasha Breaderton.

Tips For Being a Real Housewives Wanna Be & The Excelsior Girl's Night Out Tangerine Dream Fashion Show

My favorite fashion show each year is the one put on by the retailers and volunteers who bring us Excelsior Girl's Night Out.  This year's show was called Tangerine Dream.  A tip of the hat and much applause to the crew who pulled off this year's show!

I'm a huge fan of The Real Housewives franchise on Bravo.  I once had the pleasure of meeting Gretchen Christine Rossi from The Real Housewives of Orange County along with her boyfriend Slade.  Here we are at The Ultimate Pajama Party in 2011.

Tina, Gretchen, Lana, Slade and I

To pay homage to the lovely ladies on the show, I spent the day doing my best to create a "Real Housewives Wanna Be" experience.  I'm way more wannabe than Real Housewife as I probably couldn't affort to rent a bathroom in their palatial homes.

Here are some of the highlights of the day and my How to Be a Real Housewife Wanna Be Tips:

Tip #1: Get an intern. Everyone knows that a Real Housewives Wanna Be can't possibly prepare for a fashion show without help.  For this reason my friend Cami and I depended greatly on my intern Kelsey, who also happens to be my daughter.  I've since learned that true interns are NOT paid.  Kelsey we want our $80.00 back!

Notice how Intern Kelsey is careful not to look the Real Housewife Wanna Be directly in the eye or speak directly to her as she refills her champagne.

My Real Housewife Wanna Be Partner Cami with Intern Kelsey and Loki

Tip #2: Have your own hair and make-up people. It's common knowledge that a Real Housewife Wanna Be would not be caught dead doing her own hair or make-up for a fashion show. We had to have our own hair stylist and make-up artist, Ciara Pierson.  She was smart to put a giant bib on me to catch my champagne spills and cookie crumbs.  Obviously Ciara has worked with me before.  She did an amazing job, considering we had to pay her in piggy bank coins.

Miracle of miracles, Ciara worked her magic on us two hot messes, turning each of us into a true Real Housewife Wanna Be. Here we are with my sister Lana after Intern Kelsey dropped us off at the Tangerine Dream Fashion Show VIP party at Jake O'Connor's Public House aka: the happy hour place you will find me at most afternoons.

Tip #3: It's all about the VIP party and the photo op. At the VIP party I made sure that Intern Kelsey took a pic of me with my favorite Mayor, Excelsior Mayor Nick Ruehl.

Tip #4: Make sure you have a reserved seat in the front row and that everyone knows it.  Intern Kelsey managed to take a pic of her own reserved seat but not mine.  For this reason I had to fire her and am in the process of getting another intern, one I won't pay.

Tip #5: Be sure to have your own personal bodyguard when you are making public appearances.  Bodyguard Bob is always nearby to protect me from the paparazzi or any other crazies who I'm not directly related to.

Tip #6: Enjoy the show and make note of the outfits that get your attention.

I think my Stud Muffin could pull this look off

Tip #7: Be sure to pose for the paparazzi.  Here we are onstage after the show striking our best poses for the paparazzi.  Strangely most of the paparazzi had left and only two photographers were taking our photo. One of them was Intern Kelsey.  The other was a sweaty guy who kept asking the women to hug each other.

All in all the Excelsior Girl's Night Out Tangerine Dream Fashion Show was a huge success, as was my day spent being a Real Housewives Wanna Be.

Scientology: My 5 Reasons For Speaking Out

The Tom Cruise/Katie Homes divorce has put a spotlight on the Church of Scientology, and not in a way they would like.  In recent years news of abuse, intimidation, coerced abortions and other human rights violations has been shared with the public at large.

Katie Homes and Tom Cruise

The Tampa Bay Times did a multi-part series called The Truth Rundown, exposing much of what has been going on behind the doors of the Church of Scientology.  Former Church executive Marty Rathbun has been running a blog exposing their cult like behavior, which has been running rampant under current leader and Tom Cruise's buddy, David Miscavige.  Rathbun recently wrote a book that does a great job of explaining how the Church of Scientology became a cult.  It's called "What is Wrong With Scientology?: Healing Through Understanding".

Former Scientology Executive Marty Rathbun

There was a time when people who left Scientology were afraid to speak out about what they saw or experianced, that caused them to leave.  With the internet and the mass exodous from the Church of Scientology, this is no longer the case.

Having grown up in Scientology, and having left two years ago, I have my own viewpoint on Scientology and the Church of Scientology and I'm very comfortable sharing it.  I don't see the two as one in the same.  For this reason I've been open to and have  spoken out about the subject.

My reasons for doing so are these:

1. The Church of Scientology has become a cult under the leadership of David Miscavige.  What other Church contacts your friends and family in person, via facebook, and instructs them to cut all ties with you when you leave?  The head of a worldwide religion shouldn't be physically beating his staff.  Read those Tampa Bay Times articles or Amy Scobee's book "Abuse at the Top".  Or "Blown for Good" by Marc Headley.  David Miscavige's abusive behavior has been attested to by a large number of witnesses, including former Church executive Debbie Cook who suffered some of the worst abuse, which she recently testified to in court.

2. Others who came before me spoke out and helped to open my eyes, confirming my suspicions of what was going on in the Church turned cult.  I know how much this helped me and my family, and I'm willing to return the favor in hopes that it helps someone else.

Scientologist KNOW something is wrong within the organization, but they are indoctrinated to disregard their feelings of doubt.  They are indoctrinated to believe that anyone who speaks out against the Church has crimes they have committed and are doing so only because they are "bitter apostates", as the Church likes to call us.  I'm thinking of having a shirt made that reads "Apostate and Proud".  Additionaly they are NOT allowed to read or watch anything that speaks against the Church, especially its leader David Miscavige.  If they do, the church must "handle" them by discrediting the source of the information so as to put the parishioner back on the path of no doubts, complete with blinders.

When I left I spent 6 hours with two members of the Church of Scientology's Sea Organization.  I agreed to meeting with them because I wanted to see for myself how the dog and pony show went. They flew to Minnesota with the sole purpose of putting my blinders back on.  They laid out print outs of comments I made on facebook in regard to Scientology, and went over the names of facebook friends of mine that they wanted me to cut ties with.  Can you say stalker?

When they realized I wasn't going to go back into the dark, they were left only with threats of excommunicating me, thereby forcing my friends who remained in the Church to "disconnect" from me.  I was willing to lose friends if that was what it meant to live free.  I've never once regretted that decision.

3.  My mother Donna-Gail Wilcock died this past October.  She too had left the Church after being reprimanded and invalidated because she was no longer physcially well enough to volunteer her time or donate money.  Local Church executives at the Twin Cities Church of Scientology went so far as to try to get her husband to divorce her so that he could work for the Church, something my mother didn't want him to do.  He stood by my mother and their 20 year marriage.  He also left the Church after this, along with the rest of us.

My mom and I on one of our many adventures after leaving Scientology

Simply, when my mother was no longer a resource to the Church she gave 35 years of her life, time and money to, she was treated with disrespect and disdain.  When she died none of her lifelong "friends" in the Church sent any condolensces, and trust me when I say they knew about it.  When the Church of Scientology doesn't approve of your friends or family, you no longer have them as friends or family, despite your history with them, despite how they helped you in the past.  They call this "disconnection" and is part of the mind control exerted by the Church.

4. Scientology as a philosophy has and can be helpful when you aren't trying to harm people with it as is the case with most self-help practices.  I'm an ex-Scientologist, but I have many friends who continue to practice Scientology when they leave the Church.  I support their right to do so.  I have friends in the current Church of Scientology.  My issues are not with them but with the corrupt organization running Scientology into the ground, taking many good hearted people with it.  In many ways it is for them that I speak out about what I know to be true.

The numbers of Scientologist who are pretending to be "good Church following Scientologist" but have in truth left the Church, is astounding.  Many don't officially leave because they have family, friends, or business connections who will remain, or they think they will.  You aren't allowed to discuss your doubts about the Church with other members or they will report you to the Church for doing so, even their own friends and family.  It's part of the conditioning and mind control.

5. Because I can.  The Church of Scientology has no power over me anymore.  I've lost friends when I left, but I've since learned that love and friendship shouldn't be conditional upon your blind devotion to a group.  Some of the friends I lost early on have rekindled our friendship as they have come to the same conclusions that I have.

I haven't nor am I now speaking out to "Get my name out there" which is what current members are being told as the Church scrambles to do damage control from this most recent fallout.  As a columnist, blogger and busybody in my community my name has been out there for years.

I speak from the heart, based on my experiance and what I know to be true.  I'm open to hearing any questions or comments anyone has, even the ones from the Church turned cult.