You Want to Stick What in my Ear and Set it on Fire?

Have you heard of Ear Candling? Long story short, you put a hollow ear candle in your ear, the other end is lit. Wax and debris is said to be removed form the ear through the process.

In the alternative medicine community there are many benefits given for doing it. The scientific community says it's a bunch of hogwash. Though, these same scientific minds once believed Earth was the only planet with water, which we know today is not true.

It sounded like something fun to try, plus it seemed like a great trust exercise to let my partner stick a candle in my ear, then set fire to it, then letting me do the same to him. I saw it as a modern day trust fall. After a quick trip to Lakewinds Co-Op in Chanhassen, we had our candles.

My hearing hasn't been the greatest over the last few years. I've also developed vertigo. It seems I have a harder time hearing lower tones. Unfortunately this has often meant I don't always hear my man when he is speaking to me, but not looking at me.

Now this is trust!

After a few inches of the candle burns down, you cut the top off then push out what is said to be ear wax. I say said to be, because some believe the debris that is there is not from your ear but from the candle itself.

I didn't have huge expectations, but loved the idea of possibly sucking crap out of my ear.

When I was done getting my treatment I asked my partner in candling and life what the humming noise was. He said it was the humidifier that is one everyday in our bedroom. I had NEVER heard that sound before.

It surprised me so much that I started to cry, wondering what else I wasn't hearing. We went outside and a plane going overhead was louder than I've ever heard it. I could also hear him as he spoke to me while walking away, which before I often couldn't.

Again, I can't say with 100% certainty that the guck that came out of my candle was ear wax, but I can tell you I could hear much better after, surprisingly so. I would totally do it again.

Warning: The image that follows is graphic and gross, if it is indeed crap that was in my ear. If you don't want to see it, don't scroll down. Proceed at your own risk.

Ear wax, debris or candle wax?

Imperfectly Yours,
Natalie

Why I Love the Lake Minnetonka Area

Featured in the Sun Sailor

One of the things I love about the Lake Minnetonka area is how close knit the community is. I’m amazed at how many people were born, raised here and are raising their own families here today.

When you spend time in places like Los Angeles or even New York, you meet so many people who live there who are not from there. I was born and raised in Hawaii, but here I am today living in Excelsior, Minnesota.  

I’ve been a Lake Minnetonka resident for 23 years now. My family in Hawaii is still perplexed by my decision to remain. Mainly, they have a hard time wrapping their heads around our winters.

My sisters and I back home on Oahu

Truth is, I love the seasons, all of them. There is always something to do around here. I’m incredibly excited about the ice freezing on Lake Minnetonka. I’m dying to go ice-skating on it. Last year I tried ice fishing for the first time, and I’m also looking forward to that.

The way that Minnesotans persevere in the pursuit of fun, no matter the weather, is part of what made me fall in love with this area.

Not long ago we had a crazy cold snap. The air temperature was -22. In most parts of the country, that would have shut down towns, but not here. Excelsior was hustling and bustling with people doing their holiday shopping and running errands.

Of course there are times when extreme weather slows things down, but even after 23 years I’m amazed at how people still make things happen. I believe that part of what makes this a close knit community is the extreme weather.

I’ve seen business owners blowing snow, or sweeping leaves not just in front of their own shops, but that of their neighbors. There is a true willingness to help each other out. In certain ways, our survival depends on it at times because of the extreme weather.

A few inches of snow in Seattle would shut down the city, including schools. Here in the Lake Minnetonka area, a few inches of snow is hardly worth the mention. Kids still play outside, people still go to work.

When it is brutally hot out in the summer, people check on their elderly neighbors. Multiple local groups help people who need it to rake their leaves in the fall. There is no shortage of examples of how our community comes together throughout the year.

So yes, Minnesota has extreme weather that can be challenging. But, Minnesotans and especially those I’ve come to love in the Lake Minnetonka area, are extreme in their kindness and thoughtfulness, a compliment to the push back of the elements.

Yes, it may take longer to get places in the winter. This is why we allow more time for travel. Yes, I’ve learned more about frostbite than I ever cared to, but knowledge is power.

I may no longer live on a sandy, tropical beach in Hawaii, but I often feel like I’m living in paradise, even in the winter.  It is the people in this community that make it so. It is the way I see Excelsior businesses working together to help each other and the community.

I’m incredibly excited to see what is to come in 2017 for our community and I’m very thankful to be a part of this community and to call the Lake Minnetonka area my home.

Happy New Year From Odin and I

Imperfectly Yours,

Natalie

Stop Your Whining. You Aren't Being Chased by a Dinosaur

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

Despite the technology that exists to make our lives easier than ever, we are running around and stressing ourselves out more than we ever have. How could this be in an age when we can pay bills in minutes through an app on our phone, without needing to write out checks, address envelopes etc?

We no longer need to go to the library to research how to build a chicken shed, we can google it. When we want to find a good restaurant, we don’t need to call 5 friends we turn to Yelp or Open Table.  No one in our community is walking three miles up hill in the snow to get to school.

So why is it that I’m seeing friends, family and community members more stressed out than ever? We do not live in a world where we need to out-run dinosaurs on Water Street in Excelsior. We aren’t having to hunt and farm as our only food source in Chanhassen, nor are we dying of infections which modern antibiotics can cure, or fresh water our of taps in our households can prevent.

Try explaining to the starving, dying people in a third world country with no modern medicine or fresh water, why countless numbers of Americans are dying of obesity.

Try explaining to children playing kick the rusty can in the dirty streets of Calcutta how stressed out you are about having to run three kids around in your SUV to three different sporting events on the same day.

I’m guilty of this, so know that I’m not judging anyone. If anything I’m writing this as a reminder to myself of how thankful and appreciative I should be to live in the world I live in today.

Recently I had strep, which is no fun for a child, but is a full blown nightmare for an adult. Thankfully I was able to walk into Target, get a strep test and a prescription for antibiotics. I was also able to pick up over the counter medicine to help keep me comfortable. Can you imagine living in a world (as many do) with no access to medical care or modern medicine for something like strep, or the flu?

Most of us don’t have unlimited financial resources, but we are still much more privileged than most of the world. I drove the same car for ten years. Many will never own a car.

I found myself getting overly annoyed with the geese in our yard. I live on the dang water! Many people would trade places with me if it meant putting up with pesky geese that crap in the yard.

I’m not saying we have no right to ever be upset or stressed. I’m saying I think many of us have lost or let slip away what is truly important. What sometimes slams that home to us is loosing someone close to us, or knowing someone dealing with a terminal illness. Now those are problems.

Having your nail technician running 15 minutes late is not a problem. Having to wait 20 minutes to be seated at your favorite restaurant is not a problem or a reason to get in a huff.  Having your child not get the lead in the school play is not a problem.  Your child not having the latest iPhone is not a problem.

A child who doesn’t have a winter coat, that is a problem. An individual without access to needed medical care, that is a problem. A mother having to choose between feeding her children or keeping the lights on, that is a problem.

These are problems we have in and around our own community. This is why we need to continue to support organizations like ResourceWest and the ICA Food Shelf.

This is why we need to check ourselves the next time we are complaining about how stressed we are because we are leaving on vacation to Hawaii in four days and just can’t get everything done.

The next time you are feeling overwhelmed and you feel the need to complain or whine ask yourself, do I have a safe place to sleep, healthy food to eat and friends and family who love me, am I being chased by a dinosaur? If you have those things and a T-Rex is not on your heels, sit down shut up and bask in the glow of everything you are grateful for.

Imperfectly Yours,

Natalie

Perspective, Cancer and Shopping Under the Influence

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

In my last column I shared with you that I was walking down the path of determining whether or not I had breast cancer. A routine mammogram led to more images, which led to a biopsy, which led to a lumpectomy.

The whole experience took place over about seven weeks. Seven weeks of the constant question in my mind being “Do I or don’t I?” I contemplated what I would tell my children, I wondered how my family would deal with it. Even with the odds being in my favor that it wasn’t cancer, my mind played out many scenarios.

I’m not someone who likes to spend a lot of time dwelling on a mystery, unless it is one in the pages of a good book. I knew I needed to focus my mental energy in a way that had me moving forward while we went through the process, which would take time. 

While I kept busy and passed the days leading up to my lumpectomy, I found peace in knowing that my worst-case scenario still meant early treatment.  Additionally I realized that whatever it was, already was. No amount of worrying or “what-ifs” would change anything.

What I needed was to focus on something that didn’t involve abnormal cells, a mass, surgery etc. We had been making plans for months with a Giant Schnauzer breeder in Illinois to have a dog join our household.

Two weeks before my surgery we headed to Chicago to pick up what became the best distraction ever.  Odin was 10 weeks old when we brought him home. Between work, my day to day life and Odin, the next two weeks leading up to my surgery flew by!

Odin 10 Weeks

Between the start of the holidays and watching Odin explore his new community, I was having a wonderful time. He met Santa for the first time at the Excelsior Real Estate Annual Free Kid’s Movie, he went on his first horse drawn carriage ride down Water St. in Excelsior.  He even spent and will spend a few days a week with us at our store J. Novachis getting socialized.

When I saw my Doctor at a scheduled appointment she said I was the first patient she has had show up to a pre-lumpectomy physical who was smiling and laughing. I shared with her that I knew no amount of worry on my part was going to change anything, good or bad. I also told her about Odin, the joy he was bringing to our lives and how it helped to keep me in the moment, rather than worrying about what may or may not be.

The day of my surgery arrived and I was ready.  My surgery went very well. Within two days I got the news I had been waiting for. The surgeon said that though they found more abnormal cells, I had no cancer cells! The mass removed during my lumpectomy shows no cancer.  Needless to say I was and am thrilled with this news.

Unfortunately, I came down with a pretty bad case of bronchitis while recovering. There is nothing like sailing through a lumpectomy and then being almost taken out by bronchitis. When I got home from the hospital Odin remained right by my bedside during my recovery, which has taken much longer because of the bronchitis.

I did learn a valuable lesson after my surgery. When you are recovering from the affects of anesthesia or narcotics, it is best to log out of your Amazon account. Otherwise, within a few days odd things start to arrive at your home. Did you know you can get a beanie type face mask for winter that make you look like an Octopus? You can, I now own them in green and gray.

I’ll be following up with my doctors and staying on top of future screenings. I’m in a high risk category, but today I don’t have cancer. That’s good enough for me at the moment.

This experience has reminded me about keeping things in perspective. We can’t always change or control what is, but we can control how we choose to respond to it.

Imperfectly Yours,

Natalie 

Can the Glass be Half Full Even if it's Cancer?

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

Today more than ever we seem to be living in a world that is either viewed as a glass half empty or a glass half full.  We are also entering that time of year when we try to see the glass as half full, and be thankful that it is.

Lately my glass has been filled, emptied, dirtied, turned upside down, spun around, cleaned and placed back half full. For the most part I am for some, that annoying optimist who can and does find the silver lining in difficult situations.

I find beauty and opportunity in mistakes, I’m thankful for difficulties that force me down a different path, because I’ve been fortunate to learn that sometimes a late flight means you avoided an airline disaster. Sometimes road construction means taking a different route and discovering along the new route what becomes your favorite restaurant. The right time at the right place is often not where we think we need to be or when.

Simply, I try not to question challenges or things that appear to make my life more difficult, beyond evaluating them for what I’m supposed to learn from the situation. With my recent difficulty, I’ve been holding on to and remind myself of this.

October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I was due for a physical and hadn’t had a mammogram in five years. I’m 46 years old with a family history of breast cancer on both sides.

A few days after my routine mammogram, I was called back in for further imaging. This didn’t worry me, as it is fairly routine when you have what’s called dense breast tissue.

After further imaging I was told I needed a biopsy due to a suspicious area of microcalcifications and a mass. Calcifications in breast tissue are not uncommon as women age, but clusters of small calcifications called microcalcifications are sometimes associated with breast cancer.

The next day I had a biopsy. It was an agonizing five days before those results became available. Something happened at the Pathologist office and my slides had to be redone. Normally it takes two business days.

During those five days my mind of course went to high and low places.  What kept me sane during that time, was knowing that my worst case scenario was I had early stage breast cancer, something that is very treatable today.

My biopsy results came back not showing cancer but abnormal cell growth, often found around cancer. My next step is a lumpectomy, which is a surgery to remove a lump of breast tissue.

At this point the only way to know for sure if I have breast cancer, is to remove the mass and an area around it for further testing.  Here is the thing though, the likelihood of there being no cancer is higher than there being cancer.  The odds are in my favor. We just want to be sure.

I’ve met with my surgeon and we are in the process of scheduling the surgery for the lumpectomy. Once the mass is removed it should take two days for the pathology report to come back.

My worst case scenario is hopeful because of the men and women who came before me. My situation is hopeful because of the individuals who made research possible, the ones who made early detection possible.

I scheduled my mammogram in large part because I’m often reminded of the importance of having one by friends on Facebook. Because of local women like Judy Erdahl of Deephaven, who has openly shared her journey with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. Because of women like Holly Raby from Shorewood, who shares her experience with Breast Cancer, who has spoken at local events in Excelsior. Because of these and other women being vocal, I scheduled a mammogram.

There are many others in our community who have been publicly open with their experience. I’m so thankful for that. My situation is a hopeful one because of early detection, because these women won’t keep quiet about what they are dealing with.

The odds are in my favor that my lumpectomy will not turn up cancer, but if it does my treatment options will be very effective, because of those who came before me.  My situation will be very different because it was caught early.

Never underestimate the influence one voice can have, or the difference a passing comment can make. Use that voice wisely. Women like Erdahl and Raby are examples of that, and yes, the glass can be half-full even it it’s cancer.  They are shining examples of that.

Imperfectly Yours,

Natalie 

Are You Part of the Problem, Or the Solution?

Featured in the Lakeshore Weekly News

As a child my mother instilled in me a way of thinking when it came to problem solving. More accurately, it was a point of view of gratitude for what I had and an assuming of responsibility for something I brought up as a problem.

As a child and into young adulthood I learned that complaining about a problem doesn’t get you anywhere.  In my household it could make matters worse. If I said to my mother, “I don’t like what’s for dinner.” Her response would be along the lines of, “You know who would appreciate that dinner, children who are truly hungry. What do you suggest YOU do about it?”

My mother didn’t appreciated complaints about an inconvenience or being presented with a problem with no solution or suggestion on how to solve it.  What she wanted from me was for me to take some responsibility for anything I complained about, or to not bring it up until I could or would be able to solve it.

If I didn’t like what was for dinner the correct way of handling would be for me to say, “Mom thank you for making this liver for us. Would it be alright if I made myself a hot dog to eat?” This communicated that I didn’t like liver, which she knew but made anyways, but it also provided a solution for my predicament while expressing gratitude. I wasn’t asking my mother to solve it for me. It didn’t matter than I was 9 years old.

My mother stressed the need for me to understand the difference between an inconvenience and an actual problem.  Complaining about an inconvenience is a way of confirming your lack of gratitude. Complaining about a true problem with no offer to solve it, is being part of the problem. As my mother always said, “If you are only going to be part of the problem, best to keep your mouth shut.”

Let’s take the upgrading of the parking meters in Excelsior as an example. The existing meters only take quarters, so you have to hunt for quarters and then return to feed the meter once your time expires.  The new meters will take credit cards and also be able to be fed via an app on your phone, so you don’t need to return to your car or boat.

Now, the cost per hour of these meters is going up quite a bit. The money goes into a general fund for the City of Excelsior, which is where they get the money to maintain area parks like The Commons.

Personally I don’t often use the meters to park my car in Excelsior.  In my two-decades of living in the area, I’ve always found free parking in downtown Excelsior, within at least two blocks of where I need to be.

What I do use the meters for is when we boat into town. Boat meters will be the most expensive meters. Do I want to pay several dollars more when we dock the boat to go into town? No, I don’t, but I will gladly pay it for the convenience the new meters provide and because the money helps to maintain the Excelsior Commons, which I love.

Am I going to complain about having to pay 5-10 more dollars to dock at the Excelsior docks? No, I’m not. Mainly because I am fortunate to even have access to a boat, to live where I do and to have the free time to boat on Lake Minnetonka.  Also, I don’t have a solution for the problem the city is trying to solve by increasing the fees.  

How ungrateful and privileged would it sound to hear someone complain and say “I’m really upset that I have to pay a few dollars more to park my boat so that I can enjoy fine dining and shopping in Excelsior.”?

Now, I could join a planning commission or even run for City Council to affect change differently. I’m not going to do any of that, so I will pay what is required and be thankful for what I have.

Sometimes paying for parking is not in our budget. What we do then is park in any of the free spots on Water St, behind the buildings or in the neighborhood.  You know what the busy days are in Excelsior. If you know this and know finding a close spot may take awhile, leave earlier and allow yourself the time to find a free closer spot.

An inconvenience is defined as something that causes trouble or difficulty to your personal requirements or comfort. A problem is something that needs to be dealt with or overcome.

Not finding free parking is an inconvenience not a problem. The inconvenience is solved by planning your time accordingly, or just enjoying the opportunity to walk. You could also join a planning commission or run for City Council so that you can work to find a better solution to the problem the increase in parking fees is trying to overcome.

Sadly we have no shortage of true problems in this world.  Terrorist attacks are a problem. People dying of cancer is a problem, not having a job is a problem. Waiting on a table at a restaurant, not being able to find free parking right where you want it, traffic because there are improvements being done to the roads, these are inconveniences we are fortunate enough to experience. Many in the world, even in our own state would gladly trade places with us.

It’s important to first recognize the difference between an inconvenience and a problem. Next ask yourself if you are going to be part of the solution or part of the problem, then act accordingly.  If you aren’t going to put your shoulder to the wheel to help solve the problem, then take my mother’s advice and keep your mouth shut.